I Won't Give Up

Ten years ago today, this little beauty came into my life. Pretty much ever since, she's been challenging me to become the best version of myself I can be.

I woke up wondering which song I would use to mark her birthday, and when I got in the car this afternoon and heard Jason's voice, I knew I'd found it:

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

This is a kid who knows things. Let me give you an example. When she heard that my then-boyfriend was moving away, we talked about whether or not he and I would stay together long distance. She said she hoped not, because she really wanted a stepdad, but then said in her wise-beyond-her-years-way: "Well, I don't know Mom, you don't let go of people easily."

She's right about that. All the tumult in my lovelife makes me all the more grateful for the relationships I have with my children. Ones where I get to decide not to walk away, not to give up, and let that guide me:

Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

I'm not gonna lie. Having both of my kids reach double digits is a pretty big deal for me. I loved, loved, loved the closeness of being a mother to the babe you see at the top of this post, but I also love seeing who she becomes by moving away from me and more into herself:

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

I'm proud to say that one of the things she's finding is music. She was walking around the house a few weeks ago singing this song, and then she came to find me to ask if I knew the song, saying that she liked it. "I like it too," I told her, and the next time we heard it in the car together, we both sang along:

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up...

I'm Yours

Today on the bike ride home from work, I was thinking, as I so often do, about my man. I was thinking what a gift it is that in many ways we have similar struggles in this world, and this song floated into my consciousness:

I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yours

At home now reading the lyrics, I can see many ways in which this song sings our story, one of which is the fact that we each did this for the other:

Well open up your mind and see like me

Open up your plans and then you're free

Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

It isn't that there aren't details to be worked out, the first of which is residing in the same town. And it isn't like I never have fear or doubts -- it's just that when I do, I'm not in his arms or looking into my heart, because when I'm either of those places, my answer is clear:

But I won't hesitate no more, no more

It cannot wait, I'm yours...