The Dam at Otter Creek

The temptation, now that he's no longer able to access my blog, to write about my ex-husband in a less charitable way, I'll admit, is there. Especially after a recent episode with the kids, which involved, get ready for this -- them being bitten and scratched by otters while on my watch. It was a traumatic experience for all those present, and I'm sure it was pretty scary for my babydaddy to hear about it secondhand, but the fact that it turned into yet another way for him to point out what he sees as my less-than-optimal mothering is a pretty big drag for yours truly.

I know it must be hard for him with my new boyfriend here, spending time with his kids -- god knows it was an adjustment for me when I first dropped my kids off with his new woman -- but of course, he can't admit that, or let himself feel the sadness of which Live sings:

When all that's left to do

Is reflect on what's been done

This is where sadness breathes

The sadness of everyone

So he evades the sadness by finding things to be mad at me about. It's a drag, but there isn't much I can do about it, and I don't want to live my life able to be derailed by his negative energy, that's for damn sure...

I Alone

Whew! A couple of days of rest and relaxation and the inner jukebox is back on, my friends! Not quite sure why it came up with this number:

It's easier not to be wise

and measure these things by your brains

I sank into Eden with you

alone in the church by and by

I'll read to you here, save your eyes

you'll need them, your boat is at sea

your anchor is up, you've been swept away

and the greatest of teachers won't hesitate

to leave you there, by yourself, chained to fate

I alone love you

I alone tempt you

I alone love you

fear is not the end of this!

But I have a few guesses as to where this came from (& why), and here they are:

1) Heard it on the radio yesterday in the car;

2) I spent a lot of time not being wise and measuring these things (love relationships) with my brain, as was the tradition of all the Dr. Archibald's that have come before me (there were three);

3) I'm moving into a space where I let my body -- which includes my heart -- make the calls. Which means, and I have to remind myself of this quite often -- that I'm certain that fear won't be the end of this particular love affair...