Hard TImes (No One Knows Better Than I)

I had a little trouble getting out of bed this morning. Monday and all that, I guess. By the time I did rise and shine, I didn't have time to ride my bike to Mound Street to practice and then ride to the gym and shower before my meeting, so I ended up taking my road bike straight to the Capitol and doing some yoga there before jumping in the shower.

Before I left the house, the ipod seemed to be intent on giving me a little perspective on my sluggishness -- when this song came on, I thought to myself, I don't know any problems in my life right now on par those that Ray is singing about:

My mother told me
'Fore she passed away
Said son when I'm gone
Don't forget to pray

'Cause there'll be hard times
Lord those hard times
Who knows better than I?

Well I soon found out
Just what she meant
When I had to pawn my clothes
Just to pay the rent

Talkin' 'bout hard times
Lord those hard times
Who knows better than I?

I had a woman
Who was always around
But when I lost my money
She put me down

Talkin' 'bout hard times
Hard times
Yeah, yeah, who knows better than I?

Lord, one of these days
There'll be no more sorrow
When I pass away

And no more hard times
No more hard times
Yeah, yeah, who knows better than I?

I felt the same way at the Alanon meeting I went to last night, where people with sons and daughters who are active alcoholics talked about their trials and tribulations. My own heartache really doesn't compare to that, and I couldn't be more grateful that both of my children are healthy.

Thanks in part to Ray Charles, in part to Alanon, and in part to all the work I've done so far to walk a path of truth, I saw so much beauty as I rode to work today: All the other bikers who were out with me on a chilly November mroning. All the ducks on Lake Mendota. The lights shining in the greenhouses (in the Botany department on campus) the way they do when the sun's not bright enough to match their intensity. So much beauty. It really helps me stay in the present moment and appreciate how relatively un-hard a time in my life this is by comparison to the trials and tribulations of so many others out there...

I'm Every Woman

The teacher I've been primarily working with since I started practicing Ashtanga started a new job, so he isn't often at the studio anymore. One of my favorite classes is led primary, which is where the teacher counts in Sanskrit and moves through the series. It used to be on Saturday mornings, but this morning the website said "Group Practice" instead of "Led Primary." I haven't been in a couple of weeks, so I decided to go anyway.

Lucky for me, there were two other women who decided to show as well, despite the change in class format. As it worked out, we just started our practice together (complete with chant beautifully led by one of the other Ashtangis) and then moved at our own pace.

The other two women who were there are really good at Ashtanga. I know, I know, it's not supposed to be about that, but they are, and it was hard for me not to feel kinda lame when I couldn't do many of the poses that they did.

Just when I was starting to get a little down on myself, Whitney self-selected on the internal jukebox and reminded me I'm not only as good as the other women, I am them:

'Cause I'm every woman (Every woman)
It's all in me
It's all in me
Yeah

I'm every woman
It's all in me

Of course, she was singing about what she could bring to a man, but I had a Whitney-related realization on that front today too. I was singing another of the songs I heard yesterday, The Greatest Love of All, and recognizing anew that part of what's so great about finding self-love is having it to give to someone else...