I'll Be

This was one of those mornings when I woke up with lyrics in my head and then had to do a little research to figure out the associated song. Turns out it is a song by Edwin McCain, whom I've never (consciously) heard of, although my subconscious must've been grabbed by the song enough to file it away and then bring it up on the early am internal shuffle today:

I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

Why this song, this morning? I have a couple of thoughts. The lyrics range from confusing (what does "I'll be love's suicide" mean?) to effusive:

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful

Stop me and steal my breath.

And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky

Never revealing their depth.

Tell me that we belong together,

Dress it up with the trappings of love.

To that rare combination of confusing, effusive, and a little disturbing:

I'll be captivated,

I'll hang from your lips,

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

And I was just saying last night how grateful I am to be in a space now (yes, in many ways i feel like i'm better when i'm older) where I can be really effusive without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious. That makes for much more unrestrained joy, which makes it even easier for me to both be and embrace another as the greatest fan of my life...