In My Place

I didn't set an alarm last night, but this morning it was as if I had: I woke up to a song playing inside my head. It took me a while to figure out what it was, because the lyric I kept hearing was "How long must I wait for you?" I googled that, and found Louis Jordan whaling on his trumpet. That definitely wasn't the sound I had going on inside this morning. Eventually I tracked down what I was hearing: Chris Martin & the other boys from Coldplay.

As I listened to the song again and read the lyrics, I knew why it had awoken me. Before I went to sleep last night, I unearthed some pretty heavy feelings about a dark time in my life and in my marriage. It was a tough place to be, and not unlike the one the lyrics describe:

In my place, in my place

Were lines that I couldn't change

I was lost, oh yeah

I was lost, I was lost

Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed

I was lost, oh yeah

Yeah, how long must you wait for him?

Yeah, how long must you pay for him?

Yeah, how long must you wait for him?

And now, rather than ruminating over the price I paid or the amount of time I waited, I am going to sign off, do a forgiveness meditation, and continue to release any hold that place has on me. Because like the past tense in the lyrics -- that time is gone. I wait no longer.