One Voice

Tonight, after about a month off, my trauma recovery group met again. It's wonderful to have a place to share the painful parts with people who understand. It's like Alanon, but smaller, all-female, and the same group every time. That's worth a whole lot, which is why I'm there, but I get frustrated when it feels like the group leader wants my healing to follow the same trajectory as others or when she feels she knows what is best for me based on what is best for others.

Although I still have a ways to go, I've been on this healing path for quite some time now. Long enough to know myself well enough to put myself into positions that, while they might not be easy, are ultimately good for me and my kids. I can trust myself to make these decisions and to take care of myself and my kids in the process.

Tonight we sang this song together, along with the Wailin' Jennys:

This is the sound of one voice
One spirit, one voice
The sound of one who makes a choice
This is the sound of one voice

This is the sound of voices two
The sound of me singing with you
Helping each other to make it through
This is the sound of voices two

This is the sound of voices three
Singing together in harmony
Surrendering to the mystery
This is the sound of voices three

This is the sound of all of us
Singing with love and the will to trust
Leave the rest behind it will turn to dust
This is the sound of all of us

This is the sound of one voice
One people, one voice
A song for every one of us
This is the sound of one voice
This is the sound of one voice

That's right, there's one voice that I need to be most concerned with: my own. I can't help others or harmonize or have the will to trust if I'm not sure of my voice. And ultimately, that's why I'm in the group. To keep allowing my voice to get stronger as the things that have held it back fall away...