Eternal Flame

I just wanna stay right here in this tent forever and ever

I'm having a really hard time adjusting to being back from the most magical camping adventure ever.

I've never had an easy time with transitions, or moderation, for that matter, and coming home is requiring me to deal with both. Wah.

I remember hearing this song when I was growing up, but at that point I hadn't felt it like I'm feeling it now:

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darlin'
Do you feel my heart beating
Do you understand
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Is this burning an eternal flame

Nope, you're not dreaming.

Yep, this is burning an eternal flame.

I believe it's meant to be, darlin'
I watch you when you are sleeping
You belong with me
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame

Say my name
Sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely
And then come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling, oh

I do so love it when he says my name. Both names. All the names. Sarah. Archie. Babe. Any of the many terms of endearment he uses for me:

Say my name
Sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely
And then come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling, oh

I sure don't. And I won't, lose it that is. But I do have to share myself and him with the rest of the world:

Close your eyes, give me your hand
Do you feel my heart beating
Do you understand
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame

Uh-huh. And a smokin' hot eternal flame at that!

A Hazy Shade of Winter

The kids buried in leaves -- I promise they're very much alive!

Today was a rough day, any way you slice it. My babydaddy and I usually don't make our exchanges on the weekend, but today the kids came home at noon. I shoulda known that they'd need some time to acclimate, but I was feeling overwhelmed by the crazy amount of leaves in our yard and banking on the labor of three rather than one to get the job done.

Putting them to work as soon as they got home could've been a set up for a tough afternoon all by itself, but complicating matters was the fight the kids had had the previous night at their Dad's. They were both angry and hurt and hadn't addressed those feelings with one another. This made an already tough set-up into a really painful situation for all of us.

But, as usual, even in the midst of difficulty, there were some bright spots:

1) You can't rake up a whole ton of leaves and not have some pretty serious fun jumping into them, and we did both today.

2) I was able to see my part in the difficulty much more readily than I have in the past, and that helped me communicate more clearly with my kids and think through what I/we will do differently next time. You know, live and learn and all that.

3) I don't know about you, but I can't see a whole bunch of brown leaves in a pile (even if some of ours are brighter colors) -- look around, leaves are brown -- and not have this tune playing in my head:

Time, time, time, see what's become of me.
While I looked around for my possibilities,
I was so hard to please.
But look around, the leaves are brown,
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter.
Hear the salvation army band
Down by the riverside, it's bound to be a better ride
Than what you've got planned,
Carry your cup in your hand.
And look around you, the leaves are brown now,
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter.
Hang on to your hopes, my friend.
That's an easy thing to say but if your hopes should pass away,
It's simply pretend, that you can build them again.
Look around, the grass is high, the fields are ripe,
It's the springtime of my life.
Oh, seasons change with scenery,
Weaving time in a tapestry,
Won't you stop and remember me?
At any convenient time.
Funny how my memory skips while looking over manuscripts
Of unpublished rhyme,
Drinking my vodka and rhyme.
I look around, the leaves are brown,
There's a patch of snow on the ground,
Look around...

And I like that song. Especially the original, but the one by The Bangles isn't bad either...

Manic Monday

Here's another reason to get on my guitar playing/songwriting career sooner rather than later: there's not much out there to express the feeling of getting off a red eye and going straight back to work. It was not, in fact, just another Manic Monday, but that's the best I can do.

Knowing that I always have a hard time with transitions, and that I work in a pretty stressful environment, it seems peculiar that I would have set myself up for such a rough landing. I know why I did it, on one level: I got my ticket with miles so it wasn't as convenient a schedule as I would've liked, and then I didn't have enough vacation to take an additional day.

But I can't be late

'Cause then I guess I just won't get paid

These are the days

When you wish your bed was already made

Hmmm. Since my own feelings on this Monday go a bit beyond wishing my bed was already made, it gives me something to think about in terms of intentionally pushing myself back into corners that I already know will be really uncomfortable. On some level, that's a choice. My choice. It may be time for a new decisionmaking process...

Walk Like An Egyptian

These chicks are such a fun blast from the past!

Today's inspiration came from one of the protester's signs at the capitol, which read: "Walker Like an Egyptian." Incendiary, no doubt, but clever. Temperatures were indeed running high today as people gathered and spoke out in protest of the attempt to take away collective bargaining rights.

As usual, fingers are pointed at each other and each side is reticent to take responsibility for their own part. Here's hoping we can find a peaceful solution where both sides give a little...