True Blue

I was 15 when this song (and album) came out:

I've had other guys
I've looked into their eyes
But I never knew love before
'Til you walked through my door

I've had other lips
I've sailed a thousand ships
But no matter where I go
You're the one for me, baby, this I know

'Cause it's true love
You're the one I'm dreaming of
Your heart fits me like a glove
And I'm gonna be true blue, baby, I love you

My cousin and I must have played it 100 times after we purchased it while spending a week at our family's summer cottage on Lake Michigan. We wrote the song lyrics in the sand. We were way into it.

Today he sent me a video he took at a recent Madonna concert during this song, and it brought me right back to those days when he and I used to ponder what true love was all about (we didn't have a clue and wouldn't for another decade or two).

But now we do know. He's married to a wonderful man, and I (sorta) recently had the opportunity to fall completely in love and be loved by an incredible man. I could've sworn it was true love -- maybe it was -- but it didn't turn out to be the happily ever after kind.

So while I might not be at this point yet:

No more sadness, I kiss it goodbye
The sun is bursting right out of the sky
I searched the whole world for someone like you
Don't you know, don't you know that it's

True love, oh baby, true love, oh baby
True love, oh baby, true love
It's true love, oh baby, true love, oh baby
True love, oh baby, true love

It's true, so if you should ever doubt
Wonder what love is all about
Just think back and remember dear
Those words whispered in your ear, I said

True love, oh baby, true love, oh baby
True love, oh baby, true love
It's true love, oh baby, true love, oh baby
True love, oh baby, true love
It's true love

I do know what it feels like, and I know how it happens. It doesn't happen because you're wearing something cute or manage to be a certain weight or say the right thing or do something really well -- that's what I used to think. But now I know it's much more magical than that, and I know I'll know it when I feel it again...

In My Life

This afternoon, in anticipation of my parents' arrival, I went to see my acupuncturist. We always talk before I hit the table, and this time I talked about my parents. While I was on the table, she let me know I had been shouting when I was talking about them. "Anger is just something in the way of what's coming next," she said. I'm still chewing on that one, but I felt a whole lot better after my treatment.

In addition to dealing with anger, we dealt with a little bit of grief, too, and we talked about having having a forward orientation from here on out. I don't have to know what's next, she said, but that's the direction I'm looking: Forward. I like it.

Tonight my son had his honor band concert, in which he played percussion. We met my parents there, and it was an interesting experience to watch the concert with my Dad. During one of the ensembles, he leaned over to me and said: "There you are," indicating the tallest girl in the group, and a redhead to boot: "red hair and taller than everyone else." I'd known that I was the tallest kid in my school in 6th grade, of course, but it was a different experience altogether to see a young girl that resembled me through my Dad's eyes.

Anyway, the concert was a smashing success, and on the way home, we heard this song:

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

Word moptops, I'm feeling every word of the first verse. But in this second verse, I'm taking the liberty of using my forward orientation because I believe I've yet to meet my incomparable lover:

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

I'm gonna love him more, yes I am, and in the meantime, I'm busting with pride about the little man in my life (who's not so little anymore) and his fabulous sense of musical timing...

Searchin' My Soul

I spent the majority of my drive to Milwaukee this morning on a conference call, but I made sure to hang up a few minutes from my destination so I could have some me time. I pressed scan on the radio, looking for a good singalong number, and soon I was belting out I Want to Know What Love Is with my friends from Foreigner.

But I've already used that song to mark a day on this blog, a day where I was recognizing how much I'd learned about love from my last boyfriend. And I learned a lot about it from that relationship, there's no question I did, but as I was singing the words this morning, I realized there is a whole lot more I want to know about love.

I've always been a little jealous of the kind of couples where they feel a genuine love for one another, have shared values and a shared vision of what living a good life looks like, and are passionate and committed to living that life together. I don't know about that kind of love, but I'd like to learn, and I believe that's what's coming for me next.

So I decided to make Foreigner's classic my new theme song, Ally McBeal style. For those of you who aren't or weren't fans, she'd choose a song to really shout to the world what she was all about. Although her theme song on the show changed, this was always the show's theme, so I'm using this one to mark this day.

As luck would have it, the lyrics just happen to be apropos:

I've been down this road walkin' the line
That's painted by pride
And I have made mistakes in my life
That I just can't hide

Oh I believe I am ready for what love has to bring
Got myself together, now I'm ready to sing

I've been searchin' my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home

One by one, the chains around me unwind
Every day now I feel that I can leave those years behind

Oh I've been thinking of you for a long time
There's a side of my life where I've been blind and so...

I've been searchin' my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
Everything gonna be alright
I've been searchin' my soul tonight
Don't wanna be alone in life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home
Baby I been holding back now my whole life
I've decided to move on now
Gonna leave all my worries behind

Oh I believe I am ready for what love has to give
Got myself together now I'm ready to live...

Me too, Ally, me too!