Stuck On You

Here we are on the shore of Lake Michigan

We had an anniversary to celebrate -- one of many -- so we put our heads together to hatch a plan for an anniversary weekend.

We ended up going to Milwaukee for a little mountain biking and some time with my friends down there -- who are now his friends too. Love when that happens.

Love, love, love this man.

He even (mostly) tolerates my love of cheesy music.

Sing it Lionel!

Stuck on you
I've got this feeling down
Deep in my soul
That I just can't lose
Guess, I'm on my way
Needed a friend
And the way I feel now I guess
I'll be with you till the end
Guess I'm on my way
Mighty glad you stayed

I'm stuck on you
Been a fool too long I guess
It's time for me to come on home
Guess I'm on my way
So hard to see
That a woman like you could wait
Around for a man like me
Guess I'm on my way
Mighty glad you stayed

Oh, I'm leaving on that midnight train tomorrow
And I know just where I'm going
I've packed up my troubles
And I've thrown them all away
Because this time little darling
I'm coming home to stay

I'm stuck on you
I've got this feeling down
Deep in my soul
That I just can't lose
Guess, I'm on my way
Needed a friend
And the way I feel now I guess
I'll be with you till the end
Guess I'm on my way
I'm mighty glad you stayed

MIGHTY glad you stayed.

Lady

This morning I had a great practice. I found more ease in my body than I have in a while, and that felt awesome.

In the not feeling awesome department, however, is my beat-up heart. This isn't going to go on forever, but I am going to allow myself to feel really sad while that's how I'm feeling. Even though I've been down this road before. Even though maybe I *should* have known better. Or whatever.

I keep repeating the serenity prayer to myself:

God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I don't feel very serene just yet, but it seems to help shift my focus off of what I can't change. I also keep returning to a thought I had while walking behind my favorite New Englander on a hike. And that thought was that the love of my life is going to be willing and able to love me back just as much -- just as expressively, forgivingly, demonstratively, graciously -- as I love him. And I'm not getting that from this guy. I haven't been for a long time. Maybe he will continue to grow in self-love and find himself in a space where he can love me that way and be the love of my life. Or maybe, just maybe, he's not the love of my life after all.

Ouch.

The song that started to play internally as I contemplated this today was this classic:

Lady, I'm your knight in shining armor and I love you
You have made me what I am and I am yours
My love, there's so many ways I want to say I love you
Let me hold you in my arms forever more

You have gone and made me such a fool
I'm so lost in your love
And oh, we belong together
Won't you believe in my song

Lady, for so many years I thought I'd never find you
You have come into my life and made me whole
Forever let me wake to see you each and every morning
Let me hear you whisper softly in my ear

In my eyes I see no one else but you
There's no other love like our love
And yes, oh yes, I'll always want you near me
I've waited for you for so long

Lady, your love's the only love I need
And beside me is where I want you to be
'Cause, my love, there's somethin' I want you to know
You're the love of my life, you're my lady

Which I listened to (and sang along with) rolled up on the floor in the fetal position, sobbing, this afternoon.

But eventually, I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and cheered myself up with this video of Kenny inviting Lionel Richie up to sing it with him. If Lionel Richie kissing Kenny Rogers on the cheek can't put a smile on your face, I don't know what will!

Say You Say Me

The forecast for today was scattered thunderstorms. It's true. I knew that. But I still rode my bike to work, and after work I headed out the door from the gym downtown to do my 7 mile loop to picnic point and back, headphones on, phone strapped to my arm.

The bike ride went fine, but about a mile into my run, it started to absolutely pour. I darted into the Campus Inn, which I was luckily right near when the rain started. I asked the young woman at the desk if she would mind if I left my phone there while I ran because I knew (from experience) that it would get ruined if I took it with me in the torrential downpour. She kindly agreed, and as I went to unstrap it, the headphones came out and Slacker 80s hits starting playing out loud in the lobby.

That's right.

We're talking Lionel Richie here:

Say you, say me
Say it for always, that's the way it should be
Say you, say me
Say it together, naturally

I had to laugh, because it probably isn't super common to run to the tune of cheesy 80s ballads. What can I say?

They move me:

As we go down life's lonesome highway
Seems the hardest thing to do is to find a friend or two
A helping hand - some one who understands
That when you feel you've lost your way
You've got some one there to say I'll show you

Say you, say me
Say it for always, that's the way it should be
Say you, say me
Say it together, naturally

So you think you know the answers - oh no
'cause the whole world has got you dancing
That's right - I'm telling you
It's time to start believing - oh yes
Believe in who you are - you are a shining star

Thanks Lionel. I like to think so. I took in so much water on that run that my feet kept making noises like there was someone right on my heels. Nope. Just me. Running in the pouring rain. Without Lionel to keep me company.

But after the rain passed, I was both rewarded with a rainbow and able to retrieve my phone. Not quite what I planned, but a pretty awesome experience nonetheless.

Kinda like my life as a whole...