Unsteady

This little guy is just five weeks old!

Today I had the delicious pleasure of visiting a lovely friend who recently had a baby and getting to snuggle with him for an hour or so.

There's just something about a newborn that's so magical -- and when I heard this song in the car on the way home -- I realized it was apropos of the little helpless creatures:

Hold, hold on, hold onto me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady
Hold, hold on, hold onto me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady

I was only too happy to hold onto him, as are his mama and papa. And although I cried as I talked to my friend about the part of my life when I thought I was going to get a do-over and then didn't, I mostly just felt really happy for her that she got to have the child she wanted.

My friend articulated the kind of man she sees for me, and she painted a beautiful picture of what would will be a very full life with another amazing human being. She also pointed out that this work I am doing on myself would've been impossible in a relationship, and I know she's right.

I have to admit I've felt a little precarious myself this week, what with my big job interview:

Hold, hold on, hold onto me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady
Hold, hold on, hold onto me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady

But I've also felt held by so many wonderful friends, colleagues and family members who are actively supporting me, not to mention the larger force for good.

As I said in yesterday's post, there is still sadness for me about the New Englander when I hear/read lyrics like this:

But if you love me, don't let go
If you love me, don't let go

But I know that he did what he could and that what he could do wasn't all that I wanted or needed.

I also know that the man who is gonna love me and not let me go is out there, and before too long he will:

Hold, hold on, hold onto me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady
Hold, hold on, hold onto me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady

And until that time comes, I've got friendship, family and faith to do it:

Hold, hold on, hold onto me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady