Homecoming

Me out enjoying the change in the weather

This beautiful song was playing in the background on Billions the other day, and it spoke to me:

I feel a change in the weather
I feel a change in me
The days are getting shorter and the birds begin to leave
Even me, yes, yes, y'all
Who has been so long alone
I'm headed home
Headed home
The nights are getting colder now
And the air is getting crisp
I first tasted the universe on a night like this
A box of wine, and I'll abide
In the hunger in her eyes
In a place where the tree of good and evil still resides
Still resides
Homecoming
Homecoming, homecoming
She said show me what you got, babe
I'm not like other girls
Just give me your bad self
And a place for us to make a stand and I can move the world
Lift the valley from the floor, honey
It'll turn to the sky
They'll say that it's a miracle and you'll know damn well they're right
Damn well they're right
Homecoming now (don't go away now)
Homecoming, homecoming (don't go away now)
Homecoming now (don't go away now)
Homecoming, homecoming (don't go away now)
When the oracle spoke to me she was like a roadside song (don't go away now)
Do unto others as you would have them do
Even if in turn they do you wrong (hey now)
This town right here is my everything
Though I've been torn away (don't go away now)
It has my heart
It has my heart
They stole my heart
My heart is there (hey now)
My heart is there
My heart is there, my heart is there (don't go away now)
Get just a little bit high
Get a little tongue tied
Gonna try to find whatever ever made time
That kind of immemorial
That time before the fall, yeah
That time before the autumn
Really turned the corner
Drive east of Eden
Till we start to feel the west
We were never far from nowhere
You could see it from the edge of town
Honey, baby, wonder how it feel now
Somehow I can't believe that it could feel like the before, but
The air's getting colder now
The nights are getting crisp
I first tasted the universe on a night like this
And I'll abide a box of wine
And the hunger in her eyes
In a place where the tree of good and evil still resides
Homecoming
Homecoming, homecoming (homecoming)
Homecoming
Homecoming, homecoming (homecoming)
Homecoming
Homecoming, homecoming (don't go away now)
Homecoming (don't go away now)
Homecoming, homecoming
Homecoming
Homecoming, homecoming

I do indeed feel a change in the weather, inside and outside.

Outside, winter is really setting in. It's colder. And snowier.

Inside, there's more movement. And more flexibility.

And I'm so grateful...

Wings

This adventure girl is no fair weather rider

I woke up early this morning and decided to reach out to some friends in England. One of them, probably my closest friend the year I lived there, wrote back with some words of encouragement:

"Don't worry, the ones that run deep are the same ones that give us wings."

And I believe her. I do.

As my ipod reminded me this morning, so does Josh Ritter:

Yeah
It's my home—last night I dreamt that I grew wings
I found a place where they could hear me when I sing.

And today, even though the forecast included snow, rain, temperatures in the 30s and 40s, and strong winds, I decided to use my wings (with a little help from my Volvo) to head to Reedsburg for Fermentation Fest.

I was determined to "bike the Dtour" -- but decided to do half (approximately 25 miles) instead of all of it (50 miles) so that I could leave a few hours later and hopefully miss the rain.

My photos didn't manage to capture the beauty.

I set off about 1pm. This was my first long road ride on country roads -- and what a place to do it. It was hilly, and it was chilly, but man, was it beautiful.

Believe it or not -- and I guess you just might believe it since I've already described the weather -- I was the only cyclist I saw all day. Lots of people were driving the Farm/Art tour, but I was the only one on my bike this afternoon, at least that I saw. Which, I'm not gonna lie, just made me feel like more of a badass.

It also gave me plenty of time to just be in the present moment experiencing the day. Here were my big takeaways:


*Exceeding the speed limit on my road bike (in places where it was 25) was an awesome feeling.

*When it's really cold and windy, the downhills (although they allow you to go super fast) are super cold!

*Especially on those long climbs, I felt very grateful for both my fitness level and my fiery constitution.

*Cows are more interested in cyclists than one might think (or maybe I was just a little lonely).

*Wisconsin brat and beer cheese soup never tasted better than when I came in from the cold and my chicken and biscuit special included the soup bar for $7. Can't beat that!

*One cool thing about a long bike ride as opposed to a long run is that you can stop in the middle of burning tons of calories to eat a whole bunch, drink a beer, and then get right back on your bike without suffering for it.

*Spending four hours alone on a bike is good for the soul!

Change of Time

I had a long talk with a friend today and we talked about the importance of doing things to keep yourself grounded when someone you love is going through a rough time. We agreed that both running and yoga are a support for me right now, and after my big run yesterday, I decided to rest this morning and then go to a 90-minute yoga class I like this afternoon with a friend.

The class was awesome. It was all about grounding, in honor of the earth day just passed, and one of the songs she played that particularly struck me was this one:

Time, love
Time, love
Time, love
It’s only a change of time

I found that chorus oddly reassuring, like what's happening today is only a change of time, it isn't necessarily true that my whole understanding needs to change:

I had a dream last night
And rusting far below me
Battered hulls and broken hardships
Leviathan and Lonely
I was thirsty so I drank
And though it was salt water
There was something ‘bout the way
It tasted so familiar

Time, love
Time, love
Time, love
It’s only a change of time

But the next couple of verses really strike a chord:

The black clouds I’m hanging
This anchor I’m dragging
The sails of memory rip open in silence
We cut through the lowlands
All hands through the saltlands
The white caps of memory
Confusing and violent

I had a dream last night
And when I opened my eyes
Your shoulder blade, your spine
Were shorelines in the moon light
New worlds for the weary
New lands for the living
I could make it if I tried
I closed my eyes I kept on swimming

It feels like that's all I can do at the moment. Just keep swimming:

Time, love
Time, love
Time, love
It’s only a change of
Time, love
Time, love
Time, love
It’s only a change of
Time, love
Time, love
Time, love
It’s only a change of
Time, love
Time
Time, love
It’s only a change of
Time, love
Time, love
Time, love
It’s only a change of
Time, love
Time, love
Time, love
It’s only a change of time

And remind myself it's only a change of time.

The teacher closed class with a beautiful Apache blessing that also spoke to me in that "I am a child of the Earth and I don't need anything in particular to be true, I just need to experience it" kind of way:

“May the sun bring you new energy by day, may the moon softly restore you by night, may the rain wash away your worries, may the breeze blow new strength into your being, may you walk gently through the world and know it's beauty all the days of your life.”

It's only a change of time. That's my new mantra...