Green Green Grass Of Home

Resting on the soft grounds of the Cal campus

Once when I was talking about moving to California when my kids go off to college, my Dad said he hoped it wasn't a case of me thinking the grass is greener.

Being out here, I realize that I don't just think it's greener, it is greener.

Just ask Tom Jones:

The old home town looks the same as I step down from the train,
and there to meet me is my Mama and Papa.
Down the road I look and there runs Mary hair of gold and lips like cherries.
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home.
Yes, they'll all come to meet me, arms reaching, smiling sweetly.
It's good to touch the green, green, grass of home.
The old house is still standing, tho' the paint is cracked and dry,
and there's that old oak tree that I used to play on.

Down the lane I walk with my sweet Mary, hair of gold and lips like cherries.
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home.
Yes, they'll all come to meet me, arms reaching, smiling sweetly.
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home.

Berkeley may not actually be my home yet, but it sure feels like it. More than any other place I've ever been...

Back to California

The house where my Dad grew up

On Claremont Ave in Berkeley

I used to come to Northern California at least once a year to visit my Grandmother, whom I loved dearly. But after she died, I didn't have as much reason to come back, especially not to Berkeley.

We loved this lemon tree as kids!

But Berkeley is where my Dad grew up, and where my Grandmother lived for most of her adult life before moving to Oakland when she sold her house.

When I learned about the yoga retreat in Berkeley, it just felt like it was time to go back.

Back to California:

I've been feelin' down in Atlanta
Immobile in Alabama
I'd rather be in traction
Than to be here where I am
Oh, you Georgia red clay
And green Virginia pines
I've got to make it home somehow
Before I lose my mind

So won't you carry me back to California
I've been on the road too long
Take me to the West Coast, daddy
And let me be where I belong

Pain of my Ancestors: It's for real

Hey now, Philly, you street city

Been down by the railroad track
I know you can be a sweet city
But I won't soon be back
Haystack towns and smokestack cities
Are nothin' I want to see
My own house on high ground
Is the only place I want to be

So won't you carry me back to California
I've been on the road too long
Take me to the West Coast, daddy
And let me be where I belong

I do feel like I belong here, but in some ways it was hard to come back. As soon as I arrived at my Dad's house, the tears started flowing, and I had the distinct feeling that they were not my tears, they were my Dad's. So I let them come, hoping that to feel them would help us both heal...

Africa

Making my way to Berkeley on BART

I landed in San Francisco at about 8:45 pm tonight. I'm here for an Ashtanga yoga workshop, and when I signed up I thought it was going to work out super perfectly because one of my Ashtanga buddies from Madison moved to Berkeley just over a year ago.

I got in touch with her, she and her partner were excited for me to stay with them, everything was working out great. And then, last week, she told me that she was leaving for Africa the day I arrived.

That's right Toto, Africa:

I hear the drums echoing tonight
But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation
She's coming in, 12:30 flight
The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation
I stopped an old man along the way
Hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies
He turned to me as if to say, "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you"

It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you

The view from my friends' house in the Berkeley Hills

There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

The good news is she got a new job that she's excited about that will help teenage girls in Malawi get a secondary school education, something only six percent of them do right now.

The bad news is that she left her house at 9pm tonight to get to the airport, and I arrived at 9:50 pm...

Love is a Burden

I heard this song bright (actually it was still dark) and early this morning on my way to practice:

I've been sleepin' with a ghost of you
I've been walkin' in these same old shoes
I've been tryin' hard to leave you alone
I'd be lying if I said I let you go

Phew I thought to myself. Not my story anymore. And I gotta disagree with this song's premise:

Love is a burden
Love is a burden
It's bringing me down
It's bringing me down
Like a heavy load

Now I get that it can be hard sometimes when love doesn't work out. But a burden?

To borrow a word (or at least it's pronunciation) from my last love: Nawwwww.

Never. Love is a gift. It's a treasure. It lightens. It buoys. It lifts. It reinforces. It strengthens.

And I feel incredibly fortunate to know that...

Cold Beer With Your Name On It

I have a tendency to ride my bike in whatever I'm wearing, even when it's a short skirt or dress and heels. And it usually works out pretty well.

But today I happened to be wearing a pencil skirt that just kept riding higher and higher. And wouldn't you know that this would happen when a dude driving a truck and blaring this country number pulled up next to me at a red light:

I hear you're out there now and you're doing alright
A new lease on life in Hollywood
Riding around with the ragtop down
Bet the west coast sun looks good on you

Wasn't very long ago we were sitting
On a lost dirt road by the railroad tracks
If you ever think about that
And wonder where I'm at and wanna come back

I'm sitting on a tailgate in the middle of a stargaze
Wishing you were in my arms
Chilling right here, baby if you want it
I've got a cold beer with your name on it
Back 40 on a Friday night
Me and you dancing in the firelight
Girl you gotta admit it sounds pretty good, don't it?
I've got a cold beer with your name on it

Pop the top, kick back like we used to do
Sipping all night long to your favorite tunes
If you ever get tired of the concrete life,
Those honking horns, them flashing lights

Got a jar of shine if you need it,
Under the seat, you know where I keep it
Hey girl turn off your cell phone,
Put your blue jeans on, get back home

I'm sitting on a tailgate in the middle of a stargaze
Wishing you were in my arms
Chilling right here, baby if you want it
I've got a cold beer with your name on it
Back 40 on a Friday night
Me and you dancing in the firelight
Girl you gotta admit it sounds pretty good, don't it?
I've got a cold beer with your name on it

Cooler loaded down, picture perfect view
All that's missing now is… you

I'm sitting on a tailgate in the middle of a stargaze
Wishing you were in my arms
Chilling right here, baby if you want it
I've got a cold beer with your name on it
Back 40 on a Friday night
Me and you dancing in the firelight
Girl you gotta admit it sounds pretty good, don't it?

No sir, I'm afraid I don't.

Love Song

Boundless energy: Hitting the playground post soccer game

Parenting is such a gift, but like most things, sometimes it's easier than others. At the moment, my kids and I are in a really good groove.

We spent the majority of this weekend at my daughter's soccer tournament, and so many things were great about that:

1) The weather was gorgeous;

2) The other soccer moms and dads are super nice;

3) They won!

On the drive home, I heard this oldie, and while it isn't a perfect fit for today, it feels like a pretty good epitaph:

So you think that it's over,
That your love has finally reached the end.
Any time you call, night or day,
I'll be right there for you if you need a friend.

It's gonna take a little time.
Time is sure to mend your broken heart.
Don't you even worry, pretty darlin'.
I know you'll find love again
Yeah

Love is all around you
Love is knockin' outside your door.
Waitin' for you is this love made just for two
Keep an open heart and you'll find love again, I know.

Love is all around you, yeah
Love is knockin' outside your door.
Waitin' for you is this love made just for two
Keep an open heart and you'll find love again, I know.

Love will find a way.
Darlin', love is gonna find a way,
Find its way back to you.
Love will find a way.

So look around, open your eyes.
Love is gonna find a way.
Love is gonna, love is gonna find a way.
Love will find a way.

Love's gonna find a way back to you, yeah
I know, I know, I know, I know

Worth It

Heard this song during my soccer mom weekend extraordinaire:

Give it to me, I'm worth it
Baby, I'm worth it
Uh huh I'm worth it
Gimme gimme I'm worth it
Give it to me, I'm worth it
Baby, I'm worth it
Uh huh I'm worth it
Gimme gimme I'm worth it

Not my favorite song. Not my favorite lyrics. But an important message nonetheless, and one which I feel like these days, I embody:

Uh huh, you see me in the spotlight
"Ooh I love your style"
Uh huh show me what you got
'Cause I don't wanna waste my time
Uh huh see me in the spotlight
"Ooh I love your style"
Uh huh show me what you got now
Come and make it worth my while

Give it to me, I'm worth it
Baby, I'm worth it
Uh huh I'm worth it
Gimme gimme I'm worth it
Give it to me, I'm worth it
Baby, I'm worth it
Uh huh I'm worth it
Gimme gimme I'm worth it

Yup.