My Oh My

I've been listening to Brene Brown's Rising Strong in the car for the past few weeks. It's powerful, and it's speaking to me, as all of her books have.

The basic message is that we can't skip over the messy part. We can't just say that failure leads to growth without talking about what is required for that growth: the pain, the shame, the rumble as she calls it.

At one point she mentions this song as one that she listens to on repeat when she's in the hard part:

What on earth is going on in my heart?
Has it turned as cold as stone?
Seems these days I don't feel anything
‘Less it cuts me right down to the bone
What on earth is going on in my heart?

My oh my you know it just don't stop
It's in my mind I wanna tear it up
I've tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it's not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on ‘til the end

My oh my

What on earth is going on in my head?
You know I used to be so sure
You know I used to be so definite
Thought I knew what love was for
I look around these days and I'm not so sure

My oh my, you know it just don't stop
It's in my mind I wanna tear it up
I've tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it's not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end

My oh my, you know I just can't win
I burn it down it comes right back again
What kinda world is this we're living in
Where you never win
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love these days
To keep your heart from freezing
To keep your spirit free
My oh my

My oh my you know it just don't stop
It's in my mind I wanna tear it up
I've tried to fight it tried to turn it off
But it's not enough
It takes a lotta love
It takes a lotta love my friend
To keep your heart from freezing
To push on till the end

So. Much. Love.

Good thing we've all got an infinite supply...

I Am Mine

A little fanmail I found on the beach

Oh PJ. I love you so. And so do thousands of other people, most of them here in Seattle for a different reason than I am this week - to see this beloved band live.

I have a different mission: accompanying my eldest for registration and orientation for college. What a weird feeling it is to be here, at this point, and yet what a pleasure it is to accompany him to this incredible city to prepare for the next chapter of his life.

Each time we come to the Pacific Northwest, we discover a little bit more of it, and this time we got to visit a beautiful beach called Golden Gardens, within the city limits.

My son has loved the ocean his whole life, and now he gets to live in a place where it's just a few miles away, rather than halfway across the country. And I'm happy for him.

With friends at Golden Gardens

It was all Pearl Jam, all the time on the radio stations out here this week.

Here's one I heard that I'm less familiar with than the anthems from my college days:

The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind
North is to south what the clock is to time
There's east and there's west and there's everywhere life
I know I was born and I know that I'll die
The in between is mine
I am mine
And the feeling it gets left behind
All the innocence lost at one time
Significant behind the eyes
There's no need to hide
We're safe tonight
The ocean is full 'cause everyone's crying
The full moon is looking for friends at high tide
The sorrow grows bigger when the sorrow's denied
I only know my mind
I am mine
And the meaning it gets left behind
All the innocence lost at one time
Significance between the eyes
There's no need to hide
We're safe tonight
What
And the feelings that gets left behind
All the innocent broken with lies
Significance, between the lines
(We may need to hide)
And the meanings that get left behind
All the innocents lost at one time
We're all different behind the eyes
There's no need to hide

Yes, I am mine, and it's a good thing too -- because I'm losing one of the most grounding influences in my life: nearly daily physical contact with my firstborn. Because he's not mine, he's just mine to guide, and I'll have to do so from further away than I'd like, at least for a few years...