I Want Candy

Today was the last day of my second round on the Clean program. I wasn't quite as strict with myself this time around, but it did help break out of some more habits (e.g. MUST have a glass of wine when eating pasta, MUST have a beer when eating pizza, MUST have chocolate after lunch and dinner).

As for the song, it was on the Halloween mix in my TRX class today, and I really enjoyed hearing it:

I know a guy who's tough but sweet

He's so fine, he can't be beat

He's got everything that I desire

Sets the summer sun on fire

I want candy, I want candy

Go to see him when the sun goes down

Ain't no finer boy in town

You're my guy, just what the doctor ordered

So sweet, you make my mouth water

I want candy, I want candy

Candy on the beach, there's nothing better

But I like candy when it's wrapped in a sweater

Some day soon I'll make you mine,

Then I'll have candy all the time

I want candy, I want candy

I want candy, I want candy...

Checking out the lyrics now, I'm grateful that the candy I had to give up for the last three weeks was the kind being handed out to trick or treaters tonight, and not the kind wrapped in a sweater. As hard as it is to live without chocolate, it'd be harder to live without my man.

Is There a Ghost

There's not a ton to these lyrics, but the sound of these guys is pretty damn awesome:

I could sleep

I could sleep

I could sleep

I could sleep

When I lived alone

Is there a ghost in my house?

And 'tis the season, after all...

Use Somebody

I haven't done a fitness-class inspired post for a while, but every time this song has come on during class over the past few weeks, I've both enjoyed it and wondered who was singing it. Finally, I asked, and here's what I found:

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see

painted faces, fill places I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody...

you know that I could use somebody...

Someone like you and all you know and how you speak

countless lovers undercover of the streets

I sure hope I don't have to go back to pruning my way through countless lovers. Not that there aren't some lovely things about the search, it's just that if I had to do it again I'd want to find someone like my current man and all he knows and how he speaks, and that'd be pretty damn difficult to do...

She's So High

My man was singing this song tonight as we went about our evening: cooking, eating, cleaning up. It's such a pleasure to be in a relationship with someone who makes everyday life so much warmer, and so much more fun.

Sure hope this dude can come down eventually and enjoy the very real pleasures of human love:

She's blood, flesh and bone

No tucks or silicone

She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound

But somehow I can't believe

That anything should happen

I know where I belong

And nothing's gonna happen

'Cause she's so high

High above me, she's so lovely

She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite

She's so high, high above me

Hey Soul Sister

One of my soul sisters, and one of the Soul Sisters, left me a voicemail this morning while I was meditating --- at the very moment I was working through something she had helped me with. It's amazing how connected we all are when we take a moment to realize it!

I have to admit that I find this song highly irritating, but it is apropos, and it does make reference to a favorite 80's band!

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!

Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do...tonight

Hey, hey, hey

Love's Been a Little Bit Hard on Me

Over the last few days I've been relieved to experience a resurgence from my friend the internal jukebox. For a while there, things were pretty stagnant, but that visit to the Hoosier state (and the particular intersection pictured here) sure managed to stir up and help purge some old feelings that were getting in my way.

This hasn't been a pretty process, or an easy one, but my boyfriend has been great about it. I think something he said inspired this song choice. He said: "You know, I went through my own hard stuff as a child but I didn't enter adulthood with a broken heart like you did."

That just about sums it up. Sing it, Juice!

I've got nothing to be ashamed of

Love's been a little bit hard on me

If I shy away it's only because

Love's been a little bit hard on me

Love's been a little

Oh love's been a little

Love's been a little bit hard on me

Love's been a little

Oh you know just been a little

Love's been a little bit hard on me

I can remember when it's been so much

Love's been a little bit hard on me

I shy away at the slightest touch

Love's been a little bit hard on me

Come out, come out

To the hopeless romantic inside

Shout it's all right, all right

To stay so dark

So close to the light

I'll be back when I calm my fears

Love's been a little bit hard on me

See you around in a thousand years

Love's been a little bit hard on me

Thankfully, a thousand years didn't have to pass for this broken heart to heal...

If You Love Me Let Me Know

My mom had this album when I was growing up, and I used to love to listen to it. This song in particular came back to me on the internal jukebox after a recent visit to my childhood home. It was always bittersweet for me in those days -- I liked the sound of what she was singing about, hoped I'd find it, but hadn't had any experience with it.

You came when I was happy in your sunshine

I grew to love you more each passing day

Before too long I built my world around you

And I prayed you'd love enough of me to stay

If you love me let me know

If you don't then let me go

I can't take another minute

Of a day without you in it

If you love me let it be

If you don't then set me free

Take the chains away

That keep me loving you

The arms that open wide to hold me closer

The hands that run their fingers through my hair

The smile that says "hello, it's good to see you"

Anytime I turn around to find you there

It's this and so much more that make me love you

What else can I do to make you see

You know you have whatever's mine to give you

But a love affair for one can never be

If you love me let me know

If you don't then let me go

I can't take another minute

Of a day without you in it

If you love me let it be

If you don't then set me free

Take the chains away

That keep me loving you

These days, Olivia, I'm happy to say, I know exactly of what you sing!

Rock n roll

The custody schedule my babydaddy suggested and that we're currently trying out includes five-day stretches without my kids, which is just too long for me.

Today, on the phone with my son in the midst of one of these stretches, I sang:

It's been a long time, been a long time

Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time

Yes, it has

When I finished singing, I asked him if he knew that song. "Yes Mom," he replied impatiently, "of course I do."

Someday he's going to look back and think the mother who sang Led Zeppelin to him on the phone while he was at his Dad's is super cool, I just know it...

How does it make you feel?

This song shuffled onto the ipod just as I was feeling a jumble of things about being in an intimate relationship. Reading the lyrics, I think I've felt some version of all of these things, and their opposite, over the past three or four months:

I am feeling very warm right now

Please don't disappear

I am spacing out with you

You are the most beautiful entity that I've ever dreamed of

At night I will protect you in your dreams

I will be your angel

You worry so much about not having enough time together

It makes no difference to me

I would be happy with just one minute in your arms

Let's have an extended play together

You're telling me that we live to far to love each other

But your love can stretch further than you and I can see

So how does it make you feel?

How does it make you feel?

How does it make you feel?

How does it make you feel?

How does it make you feel?

Do you know when you look at me

It is a salvation

I've been waiting for you so long

I can drive on that road forever

I wish you could exist to live on my planet

Well it's very hard for me to say these things in your presence

So how does it make you feel?

Lucky for me, the Buddha teaches us that no feeling is ever final. That's an important one to remember, since it applies to the happy and the sad, the exhilarating and the fearful. When I'm at peace with the world, I can remember that. When I'm not, I sometimes refuse to acknowledge its truth, and that usually leads to suffering.