Where have all the cowboys gone

Still in recovery mode from time spent with my family of origin, I tried to shift gears and get ready to go out to ring in the New Year. At the very least, I was excited to have a new dress to wear, and this tune came to me in my preparatory shower:

Why don't you stay the evening

Kick back and watch the TV

And I'll fix a little something to eat

Oh I know your back hurts from working on the tractor

How do you take your coffee my sweet

I will raise the children if you pay all the bills

Where is my John Wayne

Where is my prairie son

Where is my happy ending

Where have all the cowboys gone

I am wearing my new dress tonight

But you don't, but you don't even notice me

Say our goodbyes...

Kind of a downer, right? Lucky for me, I'm capable of raising the children and paying the bills, the cowboy is inside me, my man does notice me, and the only thing I'm saying goodbye to is 2011!

Wonderwall

This song was in my head as I was coming back from a trip up north to the cabin, heading back to my very own Oasis, my man. I'd had access to him on the phone in a couple of tough moments, and that helped, but it just ain't the same as his physical presence:

Because maybe

You're gonna be the one that saves me

And after all

You're my wonderwall...

Without You

Anyone else sick of this song? I hear it ALL THE TIME on the radio, and it also seems to be a gym-class staple. Enough already!

I can't win, I can't reign

I will never win this game

Without you, without you

I am lost, I am vain,

I will never be the same

Without you, without you

I won't run, I won't fly

I will never make it by

Without you, without you

I can't rest, I can't fight

All I need is you and I

Without you

Without you

Oh, oh, oh!

You! You! You!

Without

You! You! You!

Without you

Can't erase, so I'll take blame

But I can't accept that we're estranged

Without you, without you

I can't quit now, this can't be right

I can't take one more sleepless night

Without you, without you

I won't soar, I won't climb

If you're not here, I'm paralyzed

Without you, without you

I can't look, I'm so blind

I lost my heart, I lost my mind

Without you

I think I recall liking it when I first heard it, but it just isn't standing up to the overplayed test. Few songs do...

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Both of my kids are now officially Santa Claus skeptics, just like their Dad (and there is a connection there).

But I still insist on trying to keep the magic alive, despite their protests, and nothing could've made me happier than hearing, early Christmas morning, these words come out of my 11-year old's mouth when he thought no one was listening:

"He came!"

Damn right he did, as promised by the Boss:

You better watch out

You better not cry

Better not pout

I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

He's making a list

And checking it twice;

Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice

Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!

You better not cry

Better not pout

I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

Santa Claus is coming to town

Thanks for stopping at our house, Santa, despite the resident skeptics! We're so glad you did!

Starwood in Aspen

This song has been floating in and out of my consciousness for the past few days now. I'm not exactly sure why, maybe because the holidays make me feel nostalgic, maybe because I'm grateful to have my most cherished loved ones with me for Christmas this year, and maybe because I'm keenly aware that one of my most cherished loved ones is wishing our home was Starwood in Aspen rather than Madison, Wis.:

It's a long way from LA to Denver

It's a long time to hang in the sky

It's a long way home to Starwood in Aspen

A sweet Rocky Mountain paradise

Oh, my sweet Rocky Mountain paradise

Springtime is rollin' 'round slowly

Grey skies are bringin' me down

I can't remember when I've ever been so lonely

I forgot what it's like to be home

Can't remember what it's like to be home

But I think on my lady's sweet memories

I think on my children's sweet smiles

I think on my home in Starwood in Aspen

All my friends and the snow covered hills

Oh, my friends are the snow covered hills

And I tell you I'm happy to be here

To share and consider this time

For I see here the shadows of changes

And a feeling of new friends to find

And I see here some new friends to find

But it's a long way from this place to Denver

It's a long time to hang in the sky

It's a long way home to Starwood in Aspen

A sweet Rocky Mountain paradise

Oh, my sweet Rocky Mountain paradise

Luckily, one of the things under the tree for him this year is a trip to that sweet Rocky Mountain paradise...

Santa Baby

We listened to A Very Special Christmas while putting up the tree this year, and my boyfriend and I were trying to remember who sang this song -- I thought it was Cyndi Lauper, he thought it was Madonna -- he was right:

Santa Baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me.

been an awful good girl, Santa baby,

so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, a 54 convertible too,

Light blue.

I'll wait up for you dear,

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed,

Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed,

Next year I could be just as good,

If you'll check off my Christmas list,

Santa baby, I wanna yacht,

And really that's not a lot,

Been an angel all year,

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need,

The deed

To a platinum mine,

Santa honey, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex,

And checks.

Sign your 'X' on the line,

Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree,

With some decorations bought at Tiffany's,

I really do believe in you,

Let's see if you believe in me,

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing,

A ring.

I don't mean on the phone,

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight,

Hurry down the chimney tonight,

Hurry, tonight.

We both think this song is insipid and obnoxious, but dang, have a lot of people covered it! If you're not already sick of hearing it, check a few more versions including Eartha Kitt's original and a sultry version by Shakira.

Never Surrender

This old fave was playing on the internal jukebox this morning for no apparent reason, but when I looked it up on youtube and found Corey talking about judging a day by its gifts, I sure was grateful for him and his amazing song:

Just a little more time is all we're askin' for

'Cause just a little more time could open closin' doors

Just a little uncertainty can bring you down

And nobody wants to know you now

And nobody wants to show you how

So if you're lost and on your own

You can never surrender

And if your path won't lead you home

You can never surrender

And when the night is cold and dark

You can see, you can see light

'Cause no one can take away your right

To fight and to never surrender

With a little perseverance you can get things done

Without the blind adherence that has conquered some

And nobody wants to know you now

And nobody wants to show you how...

...Stand your ground, never surrender...

Redemption Song

Today's blog post is inspired by a funny little exchange with my daughter.

My boyfriend's friend is writing a book with what I think is a very catchy title: "Freedom is just a fart away." When I ever so uncharacteristically passed gas this morning, my daughter responded with: "Gross Mom!" and I answered her by telling her about the book title. She looked at me quizzically, and then giggled a little. Later in the day, she too broke wind, but instead of being embarrassed as she has been in the past, she recited the book title too: "Freedom is just a fart away," and snickered. I reckon this author is on to something with that theme of liberation. Even if the redemption of which he writes is a bit less complete than this beautiful Bob is wailing about, it's no less important:

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds

Have no fear for atomic energy

'Cause none of them can stop the time

How long shall they kill our prophets

While we stand aside and look? Ooh

Some say it's just a part of it

We've got to fullfil the book

Won't you help to sing

These songs of freedom?

'Cause all I ever have

Redemption songs

Never Again

Walking around with a band-aid on my face brings up some interesting feelings. One of the main ones is wondering what other people (the ones who don't ask) assume happened, particularly with the area under my eye swollen. It made me wonder what it must be like for abused women, which led me to this heart-wrenching song:

He's drunk again, it's time to fight

She must have done something wrong tonight

The living room becomes a boxing ring

It's time to run when you see him

Clenching his hands

She's just a woman

Never Again

I hear her scream, from down the hall

Amazing she can even talk at all

She cries to me, Go back to bed

I'm terrified that she'll wind up

Dead in his hands, She's just a woman

Never Again

Been there before, but not like this

Seen it before, but not like this

Never before have I ever

Seen it this bad

She's just a woman

Never Again

Just tell the nurse, you slipped and fell

It starts to sting as it starts to swell

She looks at you, she wants the truth

It's right out there in the waiting room

With those hands

Lookin just as sweet as he can

Never Again

Seen it before, but not like this

Been there before, but not like this

Never before have I ever

Seen it this bad

She's just a woman

Never Again

Father's a name you haven't earned yet

You're just a child with a temper

Haven't you heard "Don't hit a lady"?

Kickin' your ass would be a pleasure

He's drunk again, it's time to fight

Same old shit, just on a different night

She grabs the gun, she's had enough

Tonight she'll find out how fucking

Tough is this man

Pulls the trigger as fast as she can

Never Again

Contemplating this depressing, all-too-common scene, I'm once again grateful that I'm just dealing with a little highly curable skin cancer...

Angel

After spending a ton of time yesterday eradicating lice, I was feeling a little woe is me on this morning's drive to an appointment to have the basal cell carcinoma removed from my nose. Skin cancer, lice -- enough already!

And then I heard this beautiful song playing in the background while a mother told the story of her child dying of cancer, and it was right back to the gratitude attitude for me:

Spend all your time waiting

For that second chance,

For a break that would make it okay.

There's always some reason

To feel not good enough,

And it's hard, at the end of the day.

I need some distraction,

Oh, beautiful release.

Memories seep from my veins.

Let me be empty,

Oh, and weightless,

And maybe I'll find some peace tonight.

In the arms of the angel,

Fly away from here,

From this dark, cold hotel room,

And the endlessness that you fear.

You are pulled from the wreckage,

Of your silent reverie.

You're in the arms of the angel,

May you find some comfort here.

So tired of the straight line,

And everywhere you turn,

There's vultures and thieves at your back.

The storm keeps on twisting.

Keep on building the lies

That you make up for all that you lack.

It don't make no difference,

Escape one last time.

It's easier to believe in this sweet madness,

Oh, this glorious sadness,

That brings me to my knees...

Bugs

Unfortunately, the first few lines of this song are reflective of my reality today:

I got bugs

I got bugs in my room

Bugs in my bed

Bugs in my ears

Their eggs in my head

Yep, my son, my daughter and I all have lice. Yuck! Why else would I choose this song -- maybe the worst ever by one of my favorite bands of all time?

I Want Your Sex

I was driving my son to school bright and early this morning, when we were serenaded by these explicit lyrics:

I want your sex

I want your love

I want your.. sex

No euphemisms, no beating around the bush (double entendre intended) here -- George just lays it out there for all to hear. Luckily, we were both too tired to be too embarrassed by the moment. I made a mental note about a blog possibility, and then I heard this song AGAIN later in the same day!

It's natural

It's chemical (let's do it)

It's logical

Habitual (can we do it?)

It's sensual

But most of all...

Sex is something we should do

Sex is something for me and you

Sex is natural - sex is good

Not everybody does it

But everybody should

Sex is natural - sex is fun

Sex is best when it's... One on one

One on one

And then I knew it had to be my blog song for today. Plus, I was just saying to my boyfriend, when enjoying our closeness, "everyone deserves to be touched like this."

C-c-c-c-come on!

Glycerine

Heard this song driving in the car with my man, and we both had the urge to pump up the volume:

It must be your skin I'm sinking in

Must be for real 'cause now I can feel

And I didn't mind, it's not my kind

It's not my time to wonder why

Everything's gone white and everything's gray

Now you're here, now you're away

I don't want this, remember that

I'll never forget where you're at

Don't let the days go by, Glycerine, Glycerine

I don't know why this song is called Glycerine, or what that means, but I do know that its overall message really resonates with me, which I basically take to be regret about one's own behavior after a break-up, with a little vitriol about the other person's behavior thrown in for good measure. After all, it takes two, baby!

I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time

Are you at one or do you lie

We live in a wheel where everyone steals

But when we rise, it's like strawberry fields

If I treated you bad, you bruise my face

Couldn't love you more, you got a beautiful taste

Don't let the days go by

Could have been easier on you

I couldn't change though I wanted to

Should have been easier by three

Our old friend 'Fear' and you and me

Glycerine, Glycerine

Don't let the days go by, Glycerine

Don't let the days go by, Glycerine, Glycerine

Glycerine, Glycerine

Bad mood whine again

Bad mood whine again

As she falls around me

I needed you more when we wanted us less

I could not kiss, just regress

It might just be clear, simple and plain

Well, that's just fine, that's just one of my names

Don't let the days go by

Could have been easier on you, you, you...

Boys of Summer

Forgot to pack my shades for my quick trip to Florida -- and although Tampa disappoints with its lack of beach (45 minutes to sand!?), there's no lack of sunshine. So, on a break from the conference, I hit the shops and scored a pair of wayfarers.

Running back to my hotel (yes, I packed exercise and shopping into my break -- I'm good like that), I heard Don Henley's voice inside my head:

A little voice inside my head said,

"Don't look back. You can never look back."

I thought I knew what love was,

what did I know?

Those days are gone forever

I should just let them go but

I can see you

Your brown skin shinin' in the sun

You got that hair slicked back and those

wayfarers on, baby

I can tell you my love for you will still be strong

after the boys of summer have gone...

I'm Not Perfect

Had a nice chat with my friend this morning -- I am in Tampa (for work), she is in Queens -- about the drive for perfection and how hard we can sometimes be on ourselves when we don't meet our own impossible standards. This made me think about a children's song that my babydaddy and I used to listen to and sing to our young son. It's a lovely song about not being perfect, and I can almost feel the relief I felt when we would sing this song. I spent so much of my marriage worrying that if I wasn't perfect, I wouldn't be loved. What a waste!

As Laurie says:

I have to keep reminding myself that it's ok to be exactly what I am… not perfect. This song helps a lot. It would have been nice to realize it when I was a lot younger.

I'm not perfect, no I'm not

I'm not perfect, but I've got what I've got

I do my very best, I do my very best

I do my very best each day

But I'm not perfect

And I hope you like me that way

We're not perfect…

You're not perfect, not you're not

You're not perfect, but you've got what you've got

You do your very best, you do your very best

You do your very best each day

But you're not perfect

And you know

I love you that way

Already Gone

Standing at the sink this morning with no audible music playing, I heard these lyrics loud and clear:

So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains

And we never even know we have the key

Check out this sweet video -- the Eagles are cooler than I thought -- the fros are proof!

Here's to breaking the chains, particularly the ones we place around ourselves...