Red Rain

I stayed home from work today because I'm illin' with a sore throat, cough, and general fatigue. It's no fun, and the weather today's pretty dismal, too.

I'm not giving myself a lot of points for creativity -- rainy day, the word rain in the song title -- but I was nonetheless glad when this song started welling up from within this afternoon:

Red rain is coming down
Red rain
Red rain is pouring down
Pouring down all over me

I am standing up at the water's edge in my dream
I cannot make a single sound as you scream
It can't be that cold, the ground is still warm to touch
This place is so quiet, sensing that storm

Partly because there is something about Peter Gabriel's voice -- it's haunting, in a good way -- a bit like the redness of the rain in these lyrics -- I'm not sure exactly what it signifies, but it's clearly not pretty, and I dig his ability to surrender to it:

Red rain
Putting the pressure on much harder now
To return again and again
Just let the red rain splash you
Let the rain fall on your skin
I come to you defenses down
With the trust of a child

....because sometimes, surrender is the only dignified move to be made:

Red rain is coming down
Red rain
Red rain is pouring down
Pouring down all over me
And I can't watch any more
No more denial
It's so hard to lay down in all of this
Red rain is coming down
Red rain is pouring down
Red rain is coming down all over me
I see it
Red rain is coming down
Red rain is pouring down
Red rain is coming down all over me
I'm bathing in it
Red rain coming down
Red rain is coming down
Red rain is coming down all over me
I'm begging you
Red rain coming down
Red rain coming down
Red rain coming down
Red rain coming down
Over me in the red red sea
Over me
Over me
Red rain

So I'm going to try to let this sickness wash over me, too...

Too Close

Maybe it's my upcoming vacation, maybe it's the sunshine today, or the run in the woods, or my lengthy sleep last night, but I'm feeling decidedly less seasonally affected today, which is a huge plus.

Still not a lot of music welling up from within me, though, so I was happy to have the radio in my car dial up a good number this afternoon:

And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
There's nothing I can really say.
I can't lie no more, I can't hide no more,
Got to be true to myself.
And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
So I'll be on my way.

The lyrics aren't particularly apropos, in fact, I'm not sure I really even understand them, but I really dig the tune. You?

Nantucket Sleighride

I've been sleeping a lot lately, which is my usual for this time of year, but it doesn't leave me with much  time (or energy) to do the things that help keep me centered, like blogging and yoga.

But, inspired by B.K.S. Iyengar's Light on Yoga this morning (who wouldn't be inspired by pictures of a super flexible Indian dude in nothing but a sumo-wrestler type outfit?), I managed to do some asanas and planned the Tuesday yoga class I teach for this week.

Another factor contributing to the lack of blogs is a very quiet inner jukebox. The way the change of seasons affect me now is, thankfully, so much less severe than it was my general mood was lower, but it still notices (as my British friend was fond of saying even though it probably isn't grammatically correct). Lucky for me, my boyfriend's appears to be alive and well -- or at least, focused on this song -- 'cause this is what he's been singing for days:

Goodbye, little Robin-Marie
Don't try following me
Don't cry, little Robin-Marie
'Cause you know I'm coming home soon

And my personal favorite line, which he has been repeating, as the song does, over and over again:

And I know you're the last true love I'll ever meet
And I know you're the last true love I'll ever meet

For My Lover

It's not completely a done deal, but it's looking like my man is going to stick it out in the Midwest with me, mountains or no mountains, while my primary job on this Earth -- raising my babies -- is still my privilege.

Speaking of privileged, I sure feel that way about having found such a fabulous partner in so many aspects of this life, and I don't take the sacrifice he made to move out here lightly, either. We were joking around the other day, and I was explaining how when my best friend had cancer, her sister said in a moment of anger: "motherhood is my cancer!"

"Wisconsin is your cancer!" I said, and we laughed. And then my internal ipod pulled up this classic from Tracy Chapman about the things that people endure for love:

Two weeks in a Virginia jail
For my lover for my lover
Twenty thousand dollar bail
For my lover for my lover

And everybody thinks
That I'me the fool
But they don't get
Any love from you
The things we won't do for love

I'd climb a mountain if I had to
And risk my life so I could have you
You, you, you...

Everyday I'm psychoanalyzed
For my lover for my lover
They dope me up and I tell them lies
For my lover for my lover

I follow my heart
And leave my head to ponder
Deep in this love
No man can shake

I follow my heart
And leave my mind to wonder
Is this love worth
The sacrifices I make

I know from time to time, his mind is going to wonder the same thing. Good thing his heart never wavers...