Mandolin Rain

September 23??!? Seriously?! And I haven't marked a single day with music yet this month, or at least, I haven't done so in this blog format? That seems impossible.

Yet here we are. I'll tell you what else seems impossible: that the roller coaster of logistics and emotions involved in combining two very different lives, having very nearly jumped the tracks a few times, now seems to be holding steady.

This morning on the way to the coffee shop, my boyfriend and I heard this song, and although the lyrics don't fit the present situation very well:

The song came and went
Like the times that we spent
Hiding out from the rain
Under the carnival tent

I laughed and she'd smile
It would last for awhile
You don't know what you got
Til you lose it all again

Listen to the mandolin rain
Listen to the music on the lake
Oh, listen to my heart break
Every time she runs away

Oh, listen to the banjo wind
A sad song drifting low
Listen to the tears roll
Down my face as she turns to go

A cool evening dance
Listening to the bluegrass band takes the chill
From the air
Til they play the last song

I'll do my time
Keeping you off my mind but there's moments
That I find
I'm not feeling so strong

Running down by the lake shore
She did love the sound of a summer storm
It played on the lake like a mandolin
Now it's washing her away once again... whoa, again

Boat's steaming in
Ho, I watch the side wheel spin and I
Think about her when
I hear that whistle blow

But, I can't change my mind
Oh, I knew all the time that she'd go
But that's a choice I made long ago...

Hearing it confronted me with something else that seems impossible: that the 16-year old girl who loved this song but felt so conflicted about love and men and sex and marriage could finally have found herself in a relationship that just feels like home, in the best sense of the word...