Change

Today I learned that my new life -- in which the man I hoped would move in with me nearly four years ago is moving in with me and my kids -- is gonna start even sooner than I thought.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been starting to prepare by making space: I cleaned out half of a big closet and two drawers for him. And I couldn't have done that if I hadn't also done the emotional work of letting go of this time in which it's all about me and my kids. I wouldn't trade it. I feel pretty sure that my kids feel like this home is a sanctuary for them, and so do I, which is huge. I didn't feel that in my childhood, I didn't feel that in my marriage.

I wouldn't invite just anyone into our sanctuary, and my kids and I, we wouldn't let just anyone into our hearts. He's in there, already, for all three of us -- so we have that going for us. He's conscious, considerate and conscientious -- so we have that going for us too.

There can be absolutely no question that this represents a major change for us :

Just when you were getting used to this place
You were getting used to these bones
You were getting used to the changes
Well the change won't leave you alone

And I see it as a learning opportunity, for all of us. That change won't leave you alone in your life. In the next couple of years, we're going to go through the New Englander moving in and then my oldest moving out, so I'm going to treat the former like a learning experience for all of us about major transitions in life:

You finally caught up with the pace
The tough just might have got going
You thought you could trust all the faces
Well they're only on one side of the coin

All these changes
Different stages
Turning page after page after page
It gets stranger day by day

(That last line feels like it's about the current President...)

Set your eyes straight up ahead
Don't look down when you cross
And pay no mind to time it's a punch line
The joke is on all of us

All these changes
Different stages
Turning page after page after page

Yep, we'll just keep turning page after page, hearts open, eyes open, mouths open for honest communication. Welcoming a new member into our family, into our home - even if he's not entirely new to us -- feels big.

In a good way...