Your Precious Love

Tonight I met my man to take in a movie that I knew wasn't going to be easy to watch: Detroit.

And it wasn't easy; it was important. To own that white cops hating on black men is not new, we just get to see it more often now because of cell phones and social media.

We still need to figure out what to do with it.

In the meantime, today, like every day, I'm so grateful for the precious love of my man, holding my hand through it all:

Every day there's something new

Honey, to keep me lovin' you

And with every passin' minute

Ah baby, so much joy wrapped up in it

Heaven must have sent you from above

Wo, heaven must have sent your precious love

And I, I've got a song to sing

Tellin' the world about the joy you bring

And you gave me a reason for livin'

And ooo, you taught me, you taught me the meaning of givin'

To find a love like ours is rare these days

'Cause you've shown me happiness, yes, in so many ways

I look in the mirror, and I'm glad to see

Laughter in the eyes where tears used to be

What you've given me I could never return

'Cause there's so much, girl, I have yet to learn

And I wanna show, I wanna show my appreciation

'Cause when I found you, I found a new inspiration

You Can Get It If You Really Want

I am feeling a hodgepodge of things on this final day of July 2016:

1) GRATEFUL. So grateful for a life with so much meaning. Grateful for two healthy, smart, beautiful, funny and increasingly independent kids. Grateful for challenging work. Grateful for amazing friends. Grateful for a beautiful and comfortable home. Grateful for the path that led me to my home in Ashtanga yoga and the practice that makes me a better person every day.

2) READY TO SURRENDER. Yesterday in the car I heard one of my favorite Red Hot Chili Peppers songs, Under the Bridge. Ever have the experience of a song filling your being? I love that feeling, and it happened yesterday when I heard this song. Just now, when I looked at the blog post I wrote about that song back in 2012, I felt ready to do something I've been contemplating but haven't yet really managed to do: Surrender. Especially when it comes to my lovelife. Stop checking for wedding rings, stop drawing conclusions about people who fit my narrative, just fucking give up on being the one who is going to find me a partner. I'm not in charge. I want something different than anything I've had before, and if that is going to happen, it's going to come from a place of surrender, not search. Consider this my white flag, Universe. I surrender.

3) READY TO GET TO WORK. As I've mentioned before, I feel deeply compelled to change the way we treat people in our jails and prisons. Last night I sent an email to a professor I had years ago who now does work with prisoners on forgiveness. I love what he said in response: "Congratulations on your vision that justice within prisons is vital for a just society." Yeah it is. And I will work toward that vision. I already got signoff from my boss to put together a team to work toward this essential justice.

All this has me thinking of the serenity prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

What has happened or what will happen in my lovelife, I have no ability to change. But I can, and I will, change policies and practices that retraumatize and dehumanize prisoners.

Just ask my friend Jimmy Cliff:

You can get it if you really want
You can get it if you really want
You can get it if you really want
But you must try, try and try, try and try
You'll succeed at last

Persecution you must fear
Win or lose you got to get your share
You've got your mind set on a dream
You can get it though hard it may seem now

You can get it if you really want
You can get it if you really want
You can get it if you really want
But you must try, try and try, try and try
You'll succeed at last

I know it - listen

Rome was not built in a day
Opposition will come your way
But the hotter the battle you see
Is the sweeter the victory now

You can get it if you really want
You can get it if you really want
You can get it if you really want
But you must try, try and try, try and try
You'll succeed at last

It will take time, it will take energy, it will take an incredible group of like-minded and committed individuals, but we will reform our jails and prisons. Mark my words.

Why (The King of Love is Dead)

I love Martin Luther King Jr. I think he is the most phenomenal leader ever, and I use the present tense because he has continued to lead decades after his death. I love his thoughtful, passionate, measured, insistent approach to demanding justice. I strive to be like him in my own life as much as I can.

Most years on this day, I watch his I have a dream speech, but this year, I stumbled on the audio of a talk he gave in London in 1964 before being the youngest person to receive the Nobel Peace Prize.

There are a lot of great nuggets in the nearly hourlong speech, but here are a few of my favorites (possibly slightly paraphrased):

1) When Jesus said love your enemies -- I'm grateful he didn't say like your enemies. It's very difficult to like your enemies but loving them is possible and more powerful.

2) Love the person doing the evil deed and hate the deed.

3) If a man hasn't discovered something he would die for, he isn't fit to live.

4) And quoting a preacher: "We ain't what we want to be, we ain't what we outta be, we ain't what we gonna be, but thank God, we ain't what we was."

Amen Martin. And thank you, once again, for inspiring me to take action for justice.

On one of the commercial breaks from the address, they played this Nina Simone song, written after he was shot:

What's gonna happen now, in all of our cities?
My people are rising, they're living in lies
Even if they have to die, even if they have to die
At the moment they know what life is

Even at that one moment that ya know what life is
If you have to die, it's all right
'Cause you know what life is
You know what freedom is for one moment of your life

But he had seen the mountaintop and he knew he could not stop
Always living with the threat of death ahead
Folks you'd better stop and think, everybody knows we're on the brink
What will happen now, that the King is dead?

We can all shed tears, it won't change a thing
Teach your people, will they ever learn?
Must you always kill with burn and burn with guns
And kill with guns and burn, don't you know how we gotta react?

But he had seen the mountaintop and he knew he could not stop
Always living with the threat of death ahead
Folks you'd better stop and think, everybody knows we're on the brink
What will happen, now that the King of Love is dead?

What has happened, and what will continue to happen, is that people will continue to work for the ideals for which Martin Luther King Jr. fought. I, for one, need to step up my game...