You Can't Lose Me

Today I had a pretty profound experience. After two 14 hour Breathe for Change days, I needed a rest, and luckily it was a new moon, so no practice for me this morning.

No sleep, either, or at least, not as much as I would like, but I'm used to that happening with new moons. While up early, I decided to do a guided meditation, and settled on gratitude meditation, which I hadn't done in a long time.

One aspect of the meditation asks you to picture a benefactor, someone who has guided you, and today, my mother came to mind. I must've listened to this 50 times before but never have I ever had my mother come to mind.

I'm thinking this indicates that there has been some healing, and to celebrate that, I'm choosing a country song about Moms (my Mom often played country music when I was growing up):

A little girl, a little small for her age
A little too slow for the field day race
Momma's waiting at the finish line
And wipes the teardrops from her eyes
She says, "You did just fine honey, that's okay
"Sometimes life's just that way
"You're gonna lose the race from time to time
"But you're always gonna find

"You can't lose me
"Bet your life
"I am here and I will always be
"Just a wish away
"Wherever you go
"No matter how far
"My love is where you are
"You won't be lost if you believe
"You can't lose me"

Momma use to say "Girl it won't be long
'"Til it's time to go out on your own
"Chase your dreams find your place in life
"I know you'll do just fine"
When that day finally came
There were things she needed to but could not say
So I whispered softly as I wiped
The tears from Momma's eyes

"You can't lose me
"Bet your life
"I am here and I will always be
"Just a wish away
"Wherever I go
"No matter how far
"My love is where you are
"You won't be lost if you believe
"You can't lose me"

There was a time when I wanted to lose her, both when I was a teenager and as an adult when I was first grappling with my truth about what took place in my childhood home. But that time has passed. I know that one day I will lose her, but I'm glad I haven't had to face that just yet...