Ghost

I've been riding my road bike around town a ton lately, and I'm happy to report that this morning, en route to a friend's house to carpool to practice, my inner ipod started playing this number:

I keep going to the river to pray
'Cause I need something that can wash out the pain
And at most I'm sleeping all these demons away
But your ghost, the ghost of you
It keeps me awake

As happy as putting many miles on my bike makes me, I'm even happier to report that although I understand all too well the pain that's left when someone super important to you ghosts, I'm not living it anymore. Perhaps in part, this new freedom I'm feeling has to do with the fact that I finally wised up and drew a line in the sand about contact. I finally sent a clear message saying what my heart and my body had been telling me all along: "It's gotta be all or nothing with this one, baby."

And I can live with nothing. It's the in between that's a killer. It's the thinking that maybe:

Each time that I think you're gone
I turn around and you're creeping in
And I let you under my skin
Guess I love living in the sin

Oh you never told me
True love was gonna hurt
True pain I don't deserve
Truth is that I never learn

Actually, Ella, truth is that I have learned. I'll admit, it was a lesson that took a while to sink in, but I've got it now:

Give up the ghost
Give up the ghost
Give up the ghost
Stop the haunting baby

'Cause you're either all in or you're all out of Archie...