Body of Work

When being a soccer mom feels awesome

I had a really tough morning today. I realized about two hours into really fighting with myself and being contentious with my coworker that I was triggered.

So I left the office, shed some tears, ate an avocado spring roll, and reminded my beautiful traumatized self that I was ok, that what was happening this morning was not in fact threatening to my security or some kind of indictment of my character and being, it only felt like it.

While eating my lunch by the lake -- I feel so fortunate to work right next to Memorial Union! -- I got a text from a friend who also works nearby about grabbing lunch. I explained about my morning, and then while looking on Facebook this evening, I saw that she had posted a pretty perfect song with which to mark this day:

Before you get out I want you to know
You get so many lives in just this one
Sometimes you’re a roller
Sometimes you’re the stone
Sometimes you’re an avalanche in whole

But you can be wild horses on that hill
You can be wild horses
You can stop at will
And you will

Before you get out on your one way
I’ve got a ticket waiting for you under any name
You can be holy or a roller, oh anything
But whatever you choose — stay

Yesterday happened just exactly as it did
You can’t go back and undo it
You’re not a knot you’re not a dead end
Don’t ever forget
You’re a living thing

“Freedom is what you do with what
With what’s been done to you”

Before you lay down in this place
Remember you can see a blackbird
A thousand ways
You can be a soldier
You can be the snow
Under the boots of an army with miles to go

And you can be white horses on that hill
You can be white horses
You can carry heaven until

Yesterday happened just exactly as it did
You can’t go back and undo it
You’re not a knot you’re not a dead end
Don’t ever forget

You are a body of work — Edit it
You are electric — So sing it

“Freedom is what you do with what
With what’s been done to you”

So true. And the morning I had made getting my kids back tonight all the sweeter, because if I've done one awesome thing with what's been done to me, it is raising my kids with a gazillion times more awareness than my parents had...