Electric Love

Waiting for my man at the Dane County Airport

I don't know if I've ever been more excited about a moment in my life as I was about seeing the New Englander again after two and a half years.

What I felt was mostly excitement, but I was also nervous.

That's ok, I told myself, just let yourself feel whatever you are feeling.

So I laid there, in front of the fireplace at the airport, feeling all the feels as I waited for him to come down the stairs.

And then I saw him. And the next thing I knew, his arms were around me, and mine around him, and it was the BEST feeling in the whole wide world.

It is what my friend Borns would call Electric Love:

Candy, she's sweet like candy in my veins
Baby, I'm dying for another taste

And every night my mind is running around her
Thunder's getting louder and louder

Baby, you're like lightning in a bottle
I can't let you go now that I got it
And all I need is to be struck by your electric love
Baby, your electric love
Electric love

Drown me
You make my heart beat like the rain
Surround me
Hold me deep beneath your waves

It felt sooooooooo good to be held that way again. So, so, so, so, so good:

Baby, you're like lightning in a bottle
I can't let you go now that I got it
And all I need is to be struck by your electric love
Baby, your electric love
Electric love

Rushing through me
Feel your energy rushing through me
Feel your energy rushing through me

I absolutely LOVED feeling his energy rushing through me again:

Baby, you're like lightning in a bottle
I can't let you go now that I got it
And all I need is to be struck by your electric love
Baby, your electric love
Baby, you're electric

And I am super grateful to be struck by his electric love...

Shot at the Night

The song marking this day is a twofer of sorts. Don't worry, it's not another Fuel song, but it comes to you courtesy of the same coworker.

She sent me this video, and told me I had to watch it:

Once in a lifetime, the suffering of fools
To find our way home, to break in these bones
Once in a lifetime (Once in a lifetime)
Once in a lifetime

Give me a shot at the night
Give me a moment, some kind of mysterious
Give me a shot at the night
Give me a moment, some kind of mysterious

The Killers are awesome, and I was enjoying the video, when I got a text from my coworker asking me if I was watching it and commenting on what a powerful human emotion yearning is:

Once in a lifetime, we're breaking all the rules
To find that our home, has long been out grown
Draw me a life line, 'cause honey I got nothing to lose
Once in a lifetime (Once in a lifetime)
Once in a lifetime

Give me a shot at the night
Give me a moment, some kind of mysterious
Give me a shot at the night
Give me a moment, some kind of mysterious
Give me a shot at the night

Look at my reflection in the mirror
Underneath the power of the light
Give me a shot at the night
Give me a shot at the night
Give me a shot at the night
I feel like I'm losing the fight

Give me a shot at the night
Give me a moment, some kind of mysterious
Give me a shot at the night

Yep. And yearning is something I know more than a little something about. I yearned so hard for so long, and at the same time, tried not to, because I knew that wouldn't bring the New Englander back.

And it didn't. It was setting him free that did it. Goddamn cliche, right? But it's true.

And in a few short days, we are going to have a shot at six nights together, and a whole lot of moments, and I couldn't be happier about that:

Give me a shot at the night
Give me a moment, some kind of mysterious
Give me a shot at the night
Give me a moment, some kind of mysterious
Give me a shot at the night
Give me a moment, some kind of mysterious
Give me a shot at the night

This Town

The happy skier I keep coming back to

In keeping with the theme of coming back again to the same amazing man captured in yesterday's post, I bring you Niall Horan's version:

Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there
The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air
It's hard
Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running 'round
It's funny how things never change in this old town
So far
From the stars

And I want to tell you everything
The words I never got to say the first time around
And I remember everything
From when we were the children playing in this fairground
Wish I was there with you now

'Cause if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you
Drive highways and byways to be there with you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you
Mmmmm

I saw that you moved on with someone new
In the pub that we met he's got his arms around you
It's so hard
So hard

And I want to tell you everything
The words I never got to say the first time around
And I remember everything
From when we were the children playing in this fairground
Wish I was there with you now

'Cause if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you
Drive highways and byways to be there with you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you

You still make me nervous when you walk in the room
Them butterflies—they come alive when I'm next to you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you

A poem from the art show yesterday

And I know that it's wrong
That I can't move on
But there's something 'bout you

At times I thought it was wrong, but yaaayyyyy it wasn't. It was right on!

'Cause if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you
Drive highways and byways to be there with you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you

You still make me nervous when you walk in the room
Them butterflies—they come alive when I'm next to you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you
Mmmm
Everything comes back to you
Mmmm

It really, truly does. As I texted my boyfriend yesterday, when I saw this poem, I pondered whether it fit for us. An unbreakable arch? But then I realized it did. Because absolutely nothing about us broke while we were apart.

If anything, we are stronger than we ever were...

Pompeii

This morning I kept having the experience where a few lines of a song kept playing over and over again in my head without me knowing what song it was. But it wasn't long before, through the wonders of the internet, I found it:

Eh-eh-o eh-o [6x]

I was left to my own devices
Many days fell away with nothing to show

And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Great clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above

But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?

And I think I know why this song's on repeat in my head. Today is the first full day of my reunion with my New Englander, and in most respects, it really, truly feels like nothing changed at all: Having him stand in my kitchen and sleep in my bed feel like the most natural thing in the world. But in other respects of course, things have changed. He no longer lives here. We haven't seen each other in nine months and we don't have a definite timetable for when we'll live in the same place again, though being together has made us both feel increasingly certain that that's the way it's going to go.

I also feel like we're both trying to find a way to put the best possible spin on what is in some ways a difficult situation:

How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

For him, too, there's an element of dealing with the guilt and the financial fallout and all the other yucky stuff we had to go through, and really, still have to go through before we get to the place where we're ready to live in the same place again:

Oh where do we begin?
The rubble or our sins?
Oh oh where do we begin?
The rubble or our sins?