Where Do Broken Hearts Go

Oh, Whitney. How your voice sang my pain as a young girl trying to sort out what love was all about and just what my role in it was. I'm still trying to figure that out, and you're, or at least your songs (R.I.P.), are still here to help.

Late this morning, post yoga, when three whole days had passed since I'd seen my love, I put out an SOS to a couple of pals about my own broken heart. It's complicated, but basically, my boyfriend and I really love each other, but we both have some growing and healing to do before we're ready to commit to each other, and we just can't seem to do that while spending most of our spare time and energy focused on each other.

So, and here's where the broken-hearted feelings come in, he's moving his stuff out of my house, and we're shifting out of a default of togetherness with minimal separation to a default of separation with minimal togetherness.

This evening, I was out with a friend of the extra-loyal persuasion (to me, and perhaps more importantly on this particular day, to his beloved Whitney, he says his people are good like that), when I heard that Whitney had died.

My friend and I made arrangements to meet my man back at my place for a Whitney-a-thon, and when we got there, I cannot tell you how relieved I was to see him and touch him.

Tears fell as we played this old fave:

I know it's been some time

But there's something on my mind

You see, I haven't been the same

Since that cold November day

We said we needed space

But all we found was an empty place

And the only thing I learned

Is that I need you desperately

So here I am

And can you please tell me, oh

Where do broken hearts go

Can they find their way home

Back to the open arms

Of a love that's waiting there

And if somebody loves you

Won't they always love you

I look in your eyes

And I know that you still care, for me

I've been around enough to know

That dreams don't turn to gold

And that there is no easy way

No you just can't run away

And what we have is so much more

Than we ever had before

And no matter how I try

You're always on my mind

And now that I am here with you

I'll never let you go

I look into your eyes

And now I know, now I know...

Yes Whitney, now I know. I know that I love him. But I also know that our broken hearts and inability to act out of self-love are going to be a drag on our relationship unless we take this time and space for ourselves.