Hard to Say I'm Sorry

I was just remarking yesterday that I've now blogged enough songs that I sometimes can't remember which I've used and which I haven't, and today when I was checking to see if I'd already used this song I was surprised to see that I haven't used any Chicago songs at all yet. Man, I used to love this band.

It's true, that was a long time ago, but hearing this song this morning was like turning on a faucet -- as I started to sing, I started to cry. Why, exactly? A couple reasons, I reckon...

1) I sure can relate to this verse:

Everybody needs a little time away
I've heard her say
From each other

Even lovers need a holiday
Far away from each other

And I've needed a fair amount of time away as I've tried to navigate my current love relationship. Or should I say I've taken a fair amount of time away? Although it often feels like the simplest way to handle difficulty in wading through this post-divorce love affair, I'm starting to feel like it's mostly counterproductive, and maybe even a little damaging to both the one I love and the love I'm trying to cultivate. Which leads me to my feelings of regret about that, eloquently expressed in this verse:

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to stay
And after all that you've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise you, baby

And after all thats been said and done
You're just the part of me I can't let go

Couldn't stand to be kept away
Not for a day
From your body
Wouldn't want to be swept away
Far away from the one that I love

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to know
Hold me now
I really want to tell you I'm sorry
I could never let you go

2) I think the second reason is related to being confronted once again with something that I know is a good thing overall but can also be pretty messy, especially where the kids are concerned, and that is the fact that my babydaddy and I just weren't the parts of each other we couldn't let go. We thought we were, and we tried to be, but ultimately, we just weren't.

Nope:

And after all that's been said and done
You're just a part of me I can't let go

Let go I did. And I know we're all going to get to a place where on balance, that's a good thing. We might even be there now...