Home

The concept of home has been a recurring theme lately, in more ways than one. I've been contemplating whether to remodel my house or move, because this house just isn't quite enough space for four of us, and it doesn't feel like the right space for me anymore, anyway.

I looked into a basement remodel, but in the last few days I've been leaning toward moving, and today I found what I hope will be our next home. It's absolutely perfect, and I'm going to put in an offer on it tomorrow. My realtor doesn't think my bid will be competitive because it'll be contingent on the sale of my current house, but it sure feels right so I'm going to put it out there and see what happens.

Home is also one of the themes in the book I'm currently reading aloud to my daughter, Homecoming. The last section we read included a scene where one of the characters reads a tombstone that says something basically equating death with coming home. The character didn't appreciate that definition of home, and it didn't work for my daughter and I either.

For me, home is a feeling: a feeling I rarely had in my childhood home; had more of sense of it but still fleetingly in my marital home; a feeling I am lucky enough to have now every time I curl up with one of my three loved ones in my current home.

And finally, my boyfriend was talking last week about being homesick. I totally get it. He misses the mountains, he misses his friends, he misses his favorite breakfast burrito. I try to be as understanding as I can, but I can't help but hoping rather desperately that he decides that his home is with me, and as long as the kids are little, that's likely to be in the Midwest. After that, I'm game to move to a place that feels more like home to him.

The other day when he was really wrestling with these feelings, we heard this song on the radio, and found that it fits the situation almost perfectly:

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home

I did say almost perfectly, didn't I? Because although he knows he's not alone here, I can offer, but I can't make this place his home. If that's going to happen, he has to choose to do that himself.