Freebird

One of my favorite pics of some freebirds!

After yoga class last night with my favorite Reiki master (who just happens to bear a resemblance to my first love, which I try not to dwell on but can't help but notice), I scrapped my plan to go the grocery store and came home and went to bed instead. I set my alarm for 6:45 am, fully intending to get up, as I normally do, for my Ashtanga practice.

Didn't happen that way, though. After a 4 am wake up that included cleaning up four days worth of dishes (I needed a rest in the kitchen after cooking up a storm while my kids were here), I went back to sleep around 5:30 am and then promptly hit snooze when my alarm went off. Again. And again. And again. Finally at 7:30 am, I turned it off and laid back down again, thinking I'd just rest for another minute or so before getting up. The next thing I knew, it was 9:47 am! Oh well. Rest and healing are the name of the game over here right now I guess -- who am I to fight it?

Once I managed to rouse myself, I decided a little winter biking was in order today, which is always such an amazing feeling.  En route to the Capitol square to teach yoga, my ride was enhanced when this classic began to play on the internal jukebox:

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on now
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.

But if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change, oh, oh, oh, oh.
And this bird you can not change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows I can't change.

Looking at the lyrics, it's a wonder that this wasn't an anthem I sang after the New Englander spread his wings and fled the Midwest. Maybe the reason I didn't is that for so long, I wanted to believe that I could change that bird, or that he could change, or that somehow, someway, it would make sense for him to fly on back to me.

I think now, finally, that I can be at peace with his message:

Bye, bye, baby, it's been a sweet love, yeah,
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it so badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.

But if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change, oh, oh, oh, oh.
And this bird you cannot change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord, help me, I can't change.

Lord, I can't change.
Won't you fly high, free bird, yeah?

Yes, after a couple of years spent grieving, I do believe I'm ready to fly high again. Today one of my yoga students commented on how much more open I am now -- my heart, my shoulders -- which it felt awesome to have someone outside of my healer peeps recognize.

Why yes I am a much freer bird these days, I felt like saying. Thanks for noticing!