It's Only

Today was the day my extended family celebrated Thanksgiving. My daughter went, but my son and I stayed home. We spent part of the day hanging out together, and then when his friends came over, I retired to my room for a nap. I'm still sick, so I'm trying to get as much rest as I can.

But at about 6:15pm, when I realized my son was going to be going out, I realized I needed to get myself in motion too. So I went to a yoga class at a nearby studio, where the instructor played this song:

I heard the news today;
That you’re not mine to keep.
Don’t struggle too much now
While I kill you in your sleep.

What is lust if it’s not being by yourself?
I won’t be gentle to the body on the shelf

It’s only water
It’s only fire
It’s only love

It’s only slaughter
We’re only liars
It’s only blood

They’re only thoughts that I’m having;
Thoughts safe within my head.
You’re only crying
You’re only dying
You’re only red.

I heard the news today,
That you weren’t mine to save
I hope that you’re comfortable
In the quiet lasting grave

What is lust if it’s not being by yourself?
I won’t be gentle to the body on the shelf.

It’s only water
It’s only fire
It’s only love

It’s only slaughter
We’re only liars
It’s only blood

They’re only thoughts that I’m having;
Thoughts safe within my head.
You’re only crying
You’re only dying
You’re only dead

It’s only water
It’s only fire
It’s only love

It’s only slaughter
We’re only liars
It’s only blood

They’re only thoughts that I’m having;
Thoughts safe within my head.
You’re only crying
You’re only dying
You’re only dead

And it just fit how I was feeling, in a sad, morbid kind of way. The old me is dead -- the one that was willing to pretend and put on a show to make people think everything's alright in my family of origin...