Further

About a month ago I got a note from the Universe that has been with me ever since. It said:

"The lower the price of your love, Sarah, the higher its value."

This makes a lot of sense to me, and feels like words to live by, so that's exactly what I've been trying to do.

Which means that when I felt like talking to my heart's all-time favorite man last night, I called him up. For a while I was trying to tell myself that it was time to move on, so I should resist that urge, and when I take my kids out there to visit, I should sleep in my own bed instead of with him.

But then it dawned on me that not only was that inflating the price of my love, it was placing arbitrary terms around my heart, which wants what it wants. So for now, I'm just going to embrace this lingering love, uncertain though its future may be.

Sometimes that feels good. Spacious. And other times it feels scary. And sad. And all the other things expressed in this song:

If I can't let this go
I'm telling you I won't make it another year
If I go all the way
I'm telling you I can see all these things coming clear

'Cause we have so much love
But we need so much more
'Cause we have so much love
But we need so much more

If we go on like this
I'm telling you we won't make it another year
But if we go all the way
I'm telling you we'll finally see all these roads coming clear

'Cause we have so much love
But we need so much more
'Cause we have so much love
But we need so much more

We have a fascination with the darkness
Although we're standing in light
We have the strongest sense of kindness
But still we can't treat our own selves right

We have so much love
But we need so much more
We have so much love
But we need so much more

We go further
We go further
We go further
We go further

Yep, we do. I don't know if we'll be going further together, but I do know this: We will both go further in our lives having loved each other so wholeheartedly...