i

Breathe for Change: Changing the world, one teacher at a time

What a day.

It began with a beautiful Breathe for Change workshop, which felt a little bittersweet because I made the decision yesterday to let go of my work with that organization for right now in order to make space for work with a salary commensurate with both my experience and my needs.

So that was a big deal.

And then what was supposed to be a practice session at my house with my favorite student turned into a conversation on the couch about being single parents, divorce, what I'm going to do with my life, our relationship, sex, exes, fantasies -- all the good stuff was in there.

It was about as satisfying as a conversation can be with someone who you kinda wish would just crawl in bed with you but in some ways you're just as willing to settle for a really satisfying hug at the door because you know damn well he's not in a place to love you right now.

You know?

And the day was capped off by a really awesome 7th grade concert tonight put on by my very own 7th grader and her classmates. The band sounded great, the orchestra sounded good, and the choir was awesome.

This song was one of the choral numbers tonight, and one of, though not the only, songs that made me cry today:

I done been through a whole lot
Trials and tribulations, but I know God
Satan wanna put me in a bow-tie
Praying that the holy water don't go dry, yeah yeah
As I look around me
So many motherfuckers wanna down me
But ain't no nigga never drown me
In front of a dirty double-mirror they found me

I didn't grow up in the ghetto, but I done been through a whole lot too. And I'm grateful for all of it, especially my good fortune to emerge, just like kendrick lamar, loving myself:

And I love myself
(The world is a ghetto with guns and picket signs)
I love myself
(But it can do what it want whenever it wants and I don't mind)
I love myself
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love myself
(One day at the time, sun gone shine)