You Make My Dreams

I can't remember if I blogged about it or not, but a few weeks ago, I had a dream that I was in Europe with the first man I've been really drawn to since the New Englander. We were so happy! We were just having the best time, and at the end of the dream we were locked in this huge embrace with the biggest grins on our faces, noses nearly touching.

When I woke up, I felt, for the first time, what it is like to feel so happy and free and in love. This feeling of pure joy was never possible for me before, because truly until the New Englander left and I did all that grieving, I had been hauling sadness around with me wherever I went -- and god knows he brought more than his share of that to the table.

I'm not gonna lie, having this dream about my crush definitely served to magnify my feelings for him. Maybe he was going to be the person with whom I felt that happiness and freedom!? Being around him does make me feel lighter, there is no doubt about that.

But here's what else I know is true: His words don't match his actions, and that's a dealbreaker for me in any relationship. AND he's not ready to be in a romantic relationship, and that's the relationship I want with someone to whom I am attracted.

Talking to one of my healer peeps yesterday, I realized that means that it is best for me to limit my contact with said lovely man. What's the point of being around someone I find so adorable if he's not in a position to adore me right back? There is no point.

My healer also said something really significant for me, which was that the dream came to show me that I both have the capacity for great joy and that I'm ready to embrace it -- that it's in me. So huge! Because that means it isn't necessarily tied to that lovely man to whom I'm energetically drawn but who has very little to give right now. In fact, it means the more I detach from him the more open I am to the real deal, the man who, as Hall and Oates sing it, can make my dreams come true:

What I want you've got
And it might be hard to handle
Like the flame that burns the candle
The candle feeds the flame, yeah, yeah
What I've got's full stock
Of thoughts and dreams that scatter
Then you pull them all together
And how I can't explain
Oh, yeah
Well, well you
(Ooh-ho, hoo-ooh, ooh-oo)
You make my dreams come true
(You-hoo, you, you-hoo, hoo, you, hoo)
Well, well, well you
(You-hoo, hoo-hoo-ooh)
Oh, yeah
You make my dreams come true
(You make my dreams)
Come true
(You-hoo, you, you-hoo, hoo, you, hoo)

Yes you do, mystery man. I know it. I've felt it. Can't wait to meet you in real life!