Freedom! '90

My beautiful, giant, teenagers (and our black bunny)

A couple of days ago, I worked with a member of my pit crew -- my zero balancer/rolpher.

I told him about getting back together with my boyfriend, which he was at first dubious about but came around to feeling hopeful.

He said something really beautiful during the session, which is that the reason we are all here is to become more free.

The best kind of love offers more freedom, not less, and that's exactly what I feel with the New Englander. Being able to really sink into the feeling that my heart and my body were right -- he is my person - and feeling him love me back in the same way -- it frees up this huge part of me to do what I need to do to seek more freedom elsewhere, as I am doing in the context of my family of origin.

I also think that once the two of us are living together (and when the four of us are living together), we can use this as a mantra for how we want to approach our partnership and family. Loving in ways that are freeing, not inhibiting, that's what I want for all of us.

I was super sad today to hear that George Michael died. He was a big part of my youth, and he had something important to say about Freedom:

In this family, we're free to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas

I won't let you down
I will not give you up
Gotta have some faith in the sound
It's the one good thing that I've got
I won't let you down
So please don't give me up
‘Cause I would really, really love to stick around, oh yeah

I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I told you so
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone else I've got to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Take back your singing in the rain
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man

All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me yea yea
Freedom
Freedom
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Freedom
Freedom
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take

Well it looks like the road to heaven
But it feels like the road to hell
When I knew which side my bread was buttered
I took the knife as well
Posing for another picture
Everybody's got to sell
But when you shake your ass
They notice fast
And some mistakes were built to last

That's what you get
That's what you get
That's what you get
I say that's what you get
That's what you get for changing your mind
That's what you get for changing your mind
That's what you get
That's what you get
And after all this time
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes
Do not make the man

All we have to do now is take these lies
And make them true somehow
All we have to see is that i don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me yea yea
Freedom
Freedom
Freedom
You've got to give for what you take
Freedom
Freedom
Freedom
You've got to give for what you take
Yea you've got to give for what you, give for what you give

I won't forget your wise words, George: My kids don't belong to me -- I just have the honor of loving them and helping them become the best versions of themselves. And the same is true for the New Englander. He doesn't belong to me either, but together, we reveal more love for ourselves and each other, making us a little more free all the time...