Half Of You

I'm taking a memoir writing class, and it's soooooo good for me in so many ways:

1) I've been wanting to write a memoir for years, and now I'm learning how!

2) I'm writing! The goal is five minutes a day, plus three pieces over eight weeks to be shared with the group;

3) I'm getting great feedback on my writing and learning to become a better writer;

4) I'm inspired by my own work and others' in the class to forge ahead with my memoir; and maybe most importantly of all:

5) Through the writing process, I'm learning more about myself.

In the car on the way home from Milwaukee today, I popped in a CD that said "Tunes for Sarah" on it. I have zero idea who made it for me - didn't recognize the handwriting, and can't remember being given a CD with primarily Cat Power, Gorillaz, Pearl Jam and some other band on it, but listening to it brought me this song:

When you give half of you
I want all of you
When you give half of you
I want all of you

When you go back window
You see shadows
When you're shopping for me
'Cause when you give half of you
I want all of you

Sadness is a gentle mind
But a good woman has her hands to use
Empty package of chips will tell you
What can be sold market and what can belong to you
When you give...when you give half of you
I want all of you

And I've felt this way, for sure, like I'm not getting all of the person I love. I feel less that way lately, so that's an upside to this rocky period we're in right now.

But what this song brings up for me most of all is how I recently saw, while writing about a trip I took with my boyfriend a year and change ago, how I go in and out of being in a place where I am wholly present and available. And that CAN'T be easy for him.

I'm excited to continue on my healing path, and continue with my writing, and integrate into a whole that sticks together more easily than the one I'm working with, and trying to share, right now...