Brilliant Disguise

After a break in the action, the internal jukebox went full volume this morning with this selection:

I hold you in my arms as the band plays

What are those words whispered baby just as you turn away

I saw you last night out on the edge of town

I wanna read your mind and know just what I've got in this new thing I've found

So tell me what I see when I look in your eyes

Is that you baby or just a brilliant disguise

I heard somebody call your name from underneath our willow

I saw something tucked in shame underneath your pillow

Well I've tried so hard baby but I just can't see

What a woman like you is doing with me

So tell me what I see when I look in your eyes

Is that you baby or just a brilliant disguise

It was those last four lines in particular that I kept hearing. Not sure exactly why, but in my opinion this song really lays out a lot of the fears that come up in a relationship -- including the fear that we're not worthy or deserving. Whether we know it or not, whether we are willing to admit it or not, we all have that fear.

And I think it's that fear that causes me to enter the mode the Boss articulates on the first line of the next verse:

Now look at me baby struggling to do everything right

And then it all falls apart when out go the lights

Im just a lonely pilgrim I walk this world in wealth

I want to know if it's you I don't trust cause I damn sure don't trust

Myself

I, on the other hand, do trust myself, especially in my best moments, when I remember who I really am, when I'm authentically me, and not just playing a role as described in this next verse:

Now you play the loving woman I'll play the faithful man

But just don't look too close into the palm of my hand

We stood at the alter the gypsy swore our future was right

But come the wee wee hours maybe baby the gypsy lied

So when you look at me you better look hard and look twice

Is that me baby or just a brilliant disguise

It's me baby. Look in my eyes...