Monday, June 16, 2014

All the World (I Tell Myself)

This afternoon I met a friend at a coffee shop at her request. Things have been up and down with her boyfriend for a while, but the story she had for me was so much worse than anything resembling a typical up or down. Basically, her boyfriend was still sleeping with and texting his "ex" the entire time they were together. Which was three years! She was with a man living a lie for three years. Earth-shattering.

As I said to her, these are the times in life when we understand the Buddhist teaching that the only certainty is death. Other human beings are just not something about which we can ever truly be certain, and there's probably no harder realization to come to in this crazy world. Of course, you can learn, as I know my friend will and I hope I am, to stack the deck in your favor next time rather than trying to play a hand that something inside you knows isn't a winner, but there are still no guarantees.

This song was from the episode of Grey's Anatomy that I watched tonight, and it seems to be about the search for meaning that can sometimes be so obvious and other times so obscured:

Say that I'm changed, say I'm different
Maybe I'll finally understand
Say I'll let go, say it's obvious
Oh, I tell myself over, over and over again

I'm ready, I'm ready
I'm ready to believe

So tell me I'm strong, tell me I'm weak
Tell me I'll never, ever bend
Then tell me I'm fire, tell me I'm cold
Cold oh, I tell myself over, over and over again

I'm ready, I'm ready
I'm ready to believe

And all the world can watch the choices you make
All the world can watch each tiny mistake
Let the world watch to let the world wait for you

So tell me I'm wrong, or tell me I'm cruel
Tell me I'd fight, yeah tell me I fought for the wrong things

But I'm ready, I'm ready
I'm ready to believe
I'm ready, I'm ready
I'm ready to believe

No comments:

Post a Comment