Everything I Own

This morning on Facebook I happened to see one of those posts that keep me checking Facebook in spite of the fact that I view it, for the most part, as a not very constructive use of my time.

It was posted by someone I never knew well in person -- he was my sister's age (a senior when I was a freshman) -- and I moved with my parents halfway through my freshman year in high school (my sister stayed behind).

He's a musician, and a music editor, and the post today was about working with Jimmy Griffin, from Bread, in the 18 months before he died of cancer.

It was beautiful, and it warmed my heart and made me feel sad all at the same time, just like this song:

You sheltered me from harm

Kept me warm, kept me warm

You gave my life to me

Set me free, set me free

The finest years I ever knew

Were all the years I had with you

And I would give anything I own

Give up my life, my heart, my home

I would give everything I own

Just to have you back again

You taught me how to love

What it's of, what it's of

You never said too much 

But still you showed the way

And I knew from watching you

Nobody else could ever know

The part of me that can't let go

Good thing I've turned a corner in my own grief over losing the man who taught me to love, and taught me what it's of. Good thing I'm so brave. Good thing I can let myself feel what I still inevitably feel when I hear a song like this, a deep wave of sadness, but not let myself get knocked down by it, or feel like I have to stay out of the ocean altogether, as I had been.

Because my friends, feelings aren't facts. So I know that although when I hear lyrics like this, and they feel like the truest thing I've ever known:

And I would give anything I own

Give up my life, my heart, my home

I would give everything I own

Just to have you back again

I know that they are in fact not true for me. I would have given a lot -- I still would -- but not my life, not my heart, and not, at least while my children need it as shelter -- my home.

But I'm going to join with Jimmy on this next verse to say don't, don't, don't take it for granted when you find a great love, 'cause you may lose them one day, and that'll suck:

Is there someone you know

You're loving them so

But taking them all for granted

You may lose them one day

Someone takes them away

And they don't hear the words you long to say

At least for a while. And then you'll turn the corner, as I am, and you will open yourself up for -- as scary as it may be -- finding that kind of love again, with someone new:

I would give anything I own

Give up my life, my heart, my home

I would give everything I own

Just to have you back again

Just to touch you once again