Express Yourself

One of the many signs in the peaceful crowd

So. Many. People. Give a shit!

About a week ago, my daughter's friend's Mom texted me to see if we wanted to go on an adventure with them and head to Washington DC for the women's march by bus. It seemed a little crazy to me -- we'd spend both Friday night and Saturday night on a bus and just be there for the day on Saturday -- but it also sounded like an adventure for a worthy cause.

What put me over the edge in favor of going was my daughter's enthusiasm: Yes! She wanted to go. And when I thought about what it would be like for her, at 13, to be a part of such an historic event, I decided it would be worth the pain of sleeping sitting up for a couple of days.

That was the right call. It was entirely worth it. One of the coolest parts for me was to observe my teenager and her two teenage friends, none of whom complained ONCE in 33 hours on a bus. I complained, but they didn't. I could tell they knew they were part of something bigger than they were.

My young activist and me in our pussy hats

I don't suppose I'll know for a while what impact the March will have on her, but I can say that for me, it was extremely powerful to be one of thousands who poured into our Nation's Capitol from every state in the nation to say to our new president and the rest of the world: "Hell to the No! You will not treat women, minorities and people with disabilities with disrespect and get away with it. We will stand up for what we believe. We will not go quietly."

A bunch of celebs came to say the same thing, including one particular woman whose voice I have cherished since I was my daughter's age: Madonna. She led us in chants, including "We choose love!" and she sang Express Yourself for us (which I've already blogged about). I was so grateful to get to see, hear and sing along with such a powerful woman!

Another cool thing about being in Washington DC was that my daughter noticed how many black people there were everywhere we went. I told her that was one of my favorite things about DC, and big cities in general, especially when they have a sizable black middle class, which Madison sorely lacks.

As we walked from where the bus parked to the march, we saw signs in people's yard with quotes from my most beloved black person, the king of the peaceful protest, MLK Jr.

Seeing the sign pictured here reminded me that I was not just there for my daughter: I was there for me. I was there to say, with my body and with my footsteps: My body is sacred and so is every other girl and woman's body. You can't just touch it and use it for your own pleasure without consent. Something our new president needed to hear; something so many other people need to hear too, whether they will admit it or not.

From a very early age, the people who were supposed to take care of me and protect me instead violated and neglected me. When I emerged from my childhood, I couldn't stand for people to touch me, especially men, but not limited to men. I couldn't get massages. I winced at the doctor's office. I wondered what was wrong with me. I couldn't let my boyfriend touch me. I didn't want to touch him. I had a hard time with activities requiring mind body coordination, because my body was cut off from my mind, and I lived in my mind. I didn't breathe fully.

I've taken responsibility for finding my way back from this, but my parents haven't chosen to take responsibility for their part. That's their prerogative, but I will not be silent about the things that matter any longer. I was silent for a long, long time, and indeed, a part of me died during that silence. A big part. But I'm back now, the whole entire me, and I'm not ever going away again.

I'm gonna keep expressing myself, as my friends from NWA encourage us all to do:

Express Yourself...
Express Yourself...
Come on and do it...

Express Yourself...
Express Yourself...
Come on and do it...

Express Yourself...
From the heart.
Cause if you wanna start to move up the chart
Then expression is a big part of it.
You ain't efficient when you flow
You ain't swift, movin' like a tortoise.
Full of rigor mortis.
There's a little bit more to show
I got rhymes in my mind, and better like an embryo.
Or a lesson - all of 'em expression
And if you start fessin' -
I got a Smith and Wessun
For you.
I might ignore your record
Because it has no bottom.
I get loose in the summer. When in spring and autumn
It's Dre on the mic, gettin' physical.
Doin' the job
NWA is the lynch mob!
Yes, I'm a cob?
But you know you need this.
And the knowledge is growin'
Just like a fetus, or a tumor.
But here's the rumor:
Dre is in the neighborhood
And he's up to no good.
When I start expressin' myself,
Yella, slam it!
Cause If I stay funky like this I'm doin' damage.
Or I'm a be too hyped,
And need a straight jacket.
I got knowledge and other suckers lack it.
So, when you see Dre, a DJ on the mic,
Ask what it's like.
It's like we gettin' hype tonight.
Cause if I strike
It ain't for your good health.
But I won't strike if you just...

Express Yourself...
Express Yourself...
Come on and do it...

Express Yourself...
Express Yourself...
Come on and do it...

Express Yourself...
Come on and do it...
Come on and do it...
Come on and do it...
Come on and do it... [music fades]

It isn't easy. It often makes people uncomfortable. But it's SO important!

P.S. Check out this video from the Women's March of a song called I can't keep quiet. Nor can I!