Like a Rose

Summer is my favorite season, and today, on this first day of summer, something in me is determined to make the year's longest day even longer. I woke this morning before the sun with this palpable feeling in my chest that I was carrying something. Not something that was crushing me -- like the things I was carrying around in the latter part of my marriage -- but something a little heavier than anything I really need or want to carry these days. It's a good thing I have a lot of practice with letting go, because my heart is definitely tempted to hold onto this one with all my strength. I could do that, but it would sap my own energy, which wouldn't serve me or this big green world.

Thankfully, a song appeared that is already helping me lift this weight: Like A Rose by Lucinda Williams. The only online version of this affecting song that I could find accompanies some scenes from the movie Transamerica. If you're feeling anything like me on this day when so much is so young, you might want to have some kleenex handy when you listen to it:

It's ok, you don't have to be afraid
There's nothing to worry about cause we've got it made
It's just a simple matter of letting me into your love
If you let that feeling come over you
Then there's nothing more that you can do
Just let it go
Let it go

If it's love you want
Hold out your arms
It's alright here, it's safe and warm
It's ok to feel good
That's the way it should be
Everything we have is fresh and new
I will open myself up to you like a rose.

Even with so much growing going on inside and outside this time of year, I can't quite seem to find the space she sings about in those last two lines. So for now, I'm going to see if I can get back to sleep, trusting that my time with fresh and new is coming.