For Good

I've been struggling lately with feelings of loss, in particular, loss of a friendship that has been an important one over the last few years. I hadn't really let go, hadn't really heard the messages that came from her indicating that she no longer wanted to be in each other's lives in the same way.

I get these daily emails called Daily Om, and last week the subject of one of them was being afraid of the truth. The example given was not being willing to hear it when someone close to you is pushing you away. Reading the message, I knew it was true, and recalled how I'd recently tried to get in touch for her birthday to the same outcome: polite disengagement.

I brought this up to another friend, and she recommended listening to this song from Wicked about how friendships change us:

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

My friend reminded me that just as I was led to this person who is now fading out of my life, I'll be led to others who are just right for this moment in my life, and I for theirs. Reading the lyrics, I was more able to focus on the fact that whatever its present status, I was changed for the good by this friendship.

It's easy to blame ourselves when things don't work out, but the best we can do is try to make sure we've done what we can by asking forgiveness, practicing forgiveness, and then letting go when the time comes to let go.

I'm grateful that this very Glinda-like person was in my life for as long as she was, and I'm also very grateful for the friend that helped me through this loss, a friend I've now known for 22 years and we're still learning and growing together...