How Soon Is Now

It's a Smiths' kind of day today, sayeth the inner jukebox, and this is the particular number it selected:

You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does

Uh-huh. And I think the combo of being away and alone this weekend, not seeing my kids for five days, and missing their first days of school is really exacerbating the Smithsness I've been dealing with in general lately:

There's a club if you'd like to go
you could meet somebody who really loves you
so you go, and you stand on your own
and you leave on your own
and you go home, and you cry
and you want to die

Ok so it's not that bad, but it sure would be nice to be excited about living again. I've been thinking that I need to do some volunteering so I can get some perspective, but I'm not sure where exactly to focus my energy. One of my former yoga students sent me a FB message a couple of days ago saying she'd remembered me saying I'd like to teach yoga in a mental health setting and was I still thinking about doing that and if so, she'd love to help. So that could turn into something cool -- something that adds a dimension of rightness and goodness to my life -- because I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself or feeling so low or however you want to describe the current state of affairs:

When you say it's gonna happen "now"
well, when exactly do you mean?
see I've already waited too long
and all my hope is gone

Ok, not all my hope is gone, just a big chunk of it. See that? Got a little perspective just by blogging about a Smiths' song!

You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does

Yes I do. And I am. I was. I will be.

Now will be just as soon as it needs to be, even if it isn't as soon as I'd like it to be...