Hold Me

After another stressful week, I was grateful that my 8th grader didn't have school today, because it afforded me some much-needed decompression time. We spent the morning completing the assembly of his new-at-Christmas game table that was so challenging to put together we had to wait until my friend could come back over and help us, which she was nice enough to do this morning.

Then we headed out for an afternoon at the movies with one of my son's friends in tow. It was our intention to see The Desolation of Smaug, the second in the trilogy of Hobbit movies, but we arrived to learn that we had missed it by a day. I was pretty intent on the big screen portion of my decompression time, so we chose what we hoped was the better of the two movies about to start: Ride Along.

I think I enjoyed the movie more than the boys did. Maybe it's my thing for Ice Cube -- such a beautiful man -- or maybe it's the fact that I was so ready to get lost in something -- anything -- other than work. I'm not sure. I do know there were some pretty uncomfortable moments when the flick's focus was sex.

After the movie, I dropped the boys off at my babydaddy's and headed home to get ready for a run. On my run -- my really, really cold run -- I was thinking about how perplexing sex can be for a young person. On the one hand, they are exposed to people who are obsessed with it, so they have to think it can be pretty great; on the other, it's uncomfortable and embarrassing when it comes up around one's parents. I hope to be a parent who can help sort that out that quagmire -- or at the very least -- not confound it with my own actions as my parents did.

My plan for myself when I got back from running was to do the rest of my Ashtanga practice -- I'd done my sun salutes before heading out -- but I just didn't feel like it once I settled onto my mat. As it often does when my kids first go back to their Dad's, my house felt quiet and empty and I felt the need to fill it with sound. I decided to search the Artist Specials portion of Slacker for something to keep me company, and in keeping with the feel from the movie I saw today, I settled on a Whitney Houston tribute.

Wasn't long before this song came on:

I'll hold you and touch you and make you my woman
I'll give you my love with sweet surrender
Tonight our hearts will beat as one
And I will hold you, touch you
And make you my woman tonight

Settled in my comfy living room, I would've given just about anything to be held, but I had to settle for a phone call -- not insignificant -- but not the same as being able to look into my lover's eyes:

There's something in your eyes I see
A pure and simple honesty

Hold me in your arms tonight
Fill my life with pleasure
Let's not waste this precious time
This moment's ours to treasure

Hold me in your arms tonight
We'll make it last forever
When the morning sun appears
We'll find our way together

I believe you when you say that you love me
Know that I won't take you for granted
Tonight the magic has begun
So won't you hold me, touch me
Make me your woman tonight

One of these days, he will. I just know it...