If It Hadn't Been For Love

I checked out Adele's Live at Royal Albert Hall from the library, and I've been listening to it pretty much nonstop. The song that is speaking to me most is one I've already blogged about: Turning Tables.

Every so often it happens that a song becomes more compelling in the moment than it was when I originally chose to blog about it (or so it seems in retrospect). I've considered repeating songs or even deleting the old post, but both just seem out of whack with the spirit of this blog.

In this instance, I've decided to share the lines that I'm feeling the strongest about from the song I've already used:

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you what you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables

...and then choose a new song from the same artist that has a similar message:

Never would have hitch hiked to Birmingham
If it hadn't been for love
Never woulda caught the train to Louisiana
If it hadn't been for love

Never woulda run through the blindin' rain
Without one dollar to my name
If it hadn't been, if it hadn't been for love

Never woulda seen the trouble that I'm in
If it hadn't been for love
Woulda been gone like a wayward wind
If it hadn't been for love

Nobody knows it better than me
I wouldn't be wishing I was free
If it hadn't been, if it hadn't been for love

Except in this case, the new song from the same artist is actually a cover -- the original is by The Steeldrivers.

Now I don't regret loving the New Englander, but the experience did get me in touch with just what I'm capable of doing in the name of love.

When I was in the throes of it, I truly could not imagine ever feeling differently. And I don't feel differently about loving him, but I do feel differently about allowing myself to be hurt by his cycle of appearing and disappearing:

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you what you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables

Yes it is. And actually doing that feels like the kindest thing I have done for myself in a long, long time...