Love Me Two Times

I heard this song on the radio on the way to yoga today:

Love me two times, baby
Love me twice today
Love me two times, girl
I'm goin' away
Love me two times, girl
One for tomorrow
One just for today
Love me two times
I'm goin' away

And it prompted lots of thoughts and feelings, among them:

1) I am indeed goin' away soon. I'm going up to Copper Harbor to camp and enjoy some really excellent mountain biking. I love it up there. It's so beautiful. I'm excited. It's just that every time I even think about actually going up there without the New Englander, I start crying.

Well, I told myself as Jim Morrison crooned away in the background, maybe this is just the next layer of the grieving process. Last year I wanted to go, but I couldn't bring myself to do it in the end. This year, despite all the tears, it feels like I'm really going to make the trek.

Love me one time
I could not speak
Love me one time
Yeah, my knees got weak
But love me two times, girl
Last me all through the week
Love me two times
I'm goin' away
Love me two times
I'm goin' away

2) Now that I'm not with the man who loved me two times and then some, I pondered whether I should try to rustle up some other male accompaniment to make the journey with me. You know, someone else to love me two times. As I recall, I pondered the same thing last year. It seemed like it would be easier to face the loss if I had someone else on whom to focus.

I'm sure it would be easier. And if said adventuresome man had walked (or ridden) into my life by now, I'm sure he'd be accompanying me on this trip. But he hasn't. And I'm not about to go hunting for someone for the purpose of making a loss easier to bear. That's not how I roll.

So I'm going to be brave. I'm going to do it alone. I've never camped alone before, so it feels a little daunting, but I have a feeling that going through with this under present circumstances will be good for me. More growing and all that:

Oh, yes

Love me two times, babe
Love me twice today
Love me two times, babe
'Cause I'm goin' away
Love me two time, girl
One for tomorrow
One just for today
Love me two times
I'm goin' away
Love me two times
I'm goin' away
Love me two times
I'm goin' away