Open Your Heart

The last couple of days I've just been kind of fighting. Fighting what is. Fighting with myself. So this morning at my 2-hour yoga class, the one I'm usually super grateful to get to attend, I was fighting it, big time. I hated the sound of my (beloved) instructor's voice, the words he chose, what he had us do, the way my body felt, the way my hair kept falling in my face, the quality of my breathing -- it was all really pissing me off. I started to let go a little bit at the end, but I was still feeling pretty mad when I left.

Afterward I was having coffee with a friend, and we were talking about being with what is, and why that can sometimes be so hard, and how that's ok too.

And then I went to zero balancing, and I talked to the practitioner about what I was experiencing, and we traced the anger back to the moment when I was feeling some pain and then started to choose the route where I close my heart to try to protect myself. That may have been a good strategy when I was a little girl, but it just isn't necessary now, and it leaves me feeling angry, which is pretty much the definition of close-hearted. I talked with him about consciously choosing another route when this happens now, and then he worked his magic with my body.

Afterward, I walked out into the world able to fully appreciate this glorious fall day. I took a little walk along the lake before getting back on my bike, stopping to chat with this nice black dude who was fishing. "You just out walkin'?" He asked. "Yeah, just trying to soak up some sun before I force myself to go to the office," I said. "You should stay here and go fishin' with me!" he said. I smiled, told him he was sweet but I had to go, and walked away, taking his invitation as a sign that my heart is indeed, once again, open for bizniss.

I'm not going to quote the lyrics of this song, because I don't think opening your heart has anything to do with locks or keys and I don't think you can or need to make someone love you. But this is the song popped into my head today, and take it from me, its title is fine advice!