Shadowboxer

Having once again waded into the morass that is my conflicted feelings about my family, I can feel the harsher part of me return and I can feel the temptation for my heart to close. I am feeling it and letting it pass through me rather than allowing it to take hold, but it occurs to me that if ever music was a marker about how I feel, the distance from the "Something Good" self to the "Shadowboxer" self is pretty great:

Once my lover, now my friend
What a cruel thing to pretend
What a cunning way to condescend
Once my lover, and now my friend

Oh, you creep up like the clouds
And you set my soul at ease
Then you let your love abound
And you bring me to my knees

Oh, it's evil babe
The way you let your grace enrapture me
When well you know I'd be insane
To ever let that dirty game recapture me

You made me a shadowboxer, baby
I wanna be ready for what you do
I been swinging around 'cause
I don't know when you're gonna make your move...

Then again, it isn't really far at all. They're both a part of me -- the shadowboxer and the bright-eyed singing governess. And I trust the governess will be singing a more hopeful tune again very soon.