Almost Lover

Heard this beautiful song today:

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

And I have to admit I felt a little of "enough with the songs about the pain of breakups" -- but there's a reason there are so many songs about it. So much material there. Takes such a long time to sort it all out. I'm just now at the point where I can revisit the writing that I did after the New Englander left more than two years ago now. It's really, really raw, as I was for a long time:

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So now you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

I feel grateful to be at the point now where I can do most things that were too painful to do without him when he left, at least the things that are possible to do alone.

That other stuff -- he was, after all, my all the way lover (and almost husband) -- that just isn't something I've been able to recreate on my own and I've yet to find someone suitable to take his place...