Gravity Rides Everything

The sky on my bike ride to the soccer game

Last night I had a nightmare about dead mice being stuck in all sorts of crevices in my house including between the windowpanes. Lots of dead mice. Shudder.

So when I woke up I did two internet searches -- the first to see what dead mice in dreams is believed to signify:

"To see a dead mouse in your dream implies that you are not letting minor issues bother you. You are not letting your own fears get in the way of what you want. Alternatively, a dead mouse indicates that there is something that you have ignored or neglected for too long."

Hmmm. The main thing I am ignoring is that there very well may be another dead mouse on my basement floor, but I've been too afraid to go check it out.

When it comes to my work, I'm not letting my own fears get in the way of what I want. Not so sure about my social life/love life. Maybe it was just me, but I felt like the teacher at the yoga class I went to on Friday evening was targeting me each time he suggested the need to open our hearts. I'm trying!

I'm definitely feeling the need to branch out a bit and plan more activities on the weekends when I don't have the kids. I was feeling pretty pissed off again about not getting to eat what I want and then I decided to bike to my daughter's soccer game. Although it was chilly, it was also beautiful and enlivening.

I've been really tired this weekend too: Sleeping eight hours and then still wanting a two hour nap. Not sure if it's the change in the weather or the change in my diet but dang, that's a lot of sleep!

Anyway, the second search was for a Modest Mouse song, and this one felt apropos for this bicyclist yoga teacher:

Oh gotta see, gotta know right now
What's that riding on your everything?
It isn't anything at all

Oh gotta see, gotta know right now
What's that writing on your shelf
In the bathrooms and the bad motels?
No one really cared for it at all
Not the gravity plan
Early, early in the morning
It pulls all on down my sore feet
I wanna go back to sleep
In the motions and the things that you say
It all will fall, fall right into place

As fruit drops, flesh it sags
Everything will fall right into place
When we die, some sink and some lay
But at least I don't see you float away
And all the spilt milk, sex and weight
It all will fall, fall right into place

On some level, I believe this to be true. It will all fall right into place when it's ready. In the meantime, it's my job to figure out my role in the process, and right now it feels like I'm going through a transition...