Just Give Me a Reason

It has been an eventful 24 hours for me, starting with yesterday's note from the Universe:

"The question, Sarah, that some might consider asking is, "Can others, doing what they're now doing, no matter what their motivation, no matter what our relationship, and no matter what they decide, keep me from being all I want to be?"

And the answer is always, "Not in a million years."

Whooohooo!
    The Universe"

This is exactly what I needed to hear, and I also heard the unspoken part of this, which was "unless I let them." And I have been. I've been feeling super sorry for myself because things just aren't working out as I'd hoped. Guess what? That happens sometimes. That's life.

I knew this was all true, but it didn't feel true, so I made an appointment to talk it through and get some bodywork from one of the wise women who has helped guide me through my evolution over the past decade. I told her what has been going on, and she asked what my spiritual intention was, and I said: "to let go of all attachments so that I can be guided by love in my continued evolution." Sounds pretty woo-woo, I know.

But it worked. After the session, I went home, slept a bunch, and when I emerged, a shift had taken place: my phase of throwing a hissy fit because this man I love doesn't want the same things I do in this stage of our lives is over. I don't need to be upset about that, it just is.

I feel like what I've learned about love and marriage/partnerships can be summed up like this: In order to make a marriage or a partnership really great, you need two things: 1) you need to love each other like crazy; and 2) you need to want and value the same things in life. So far, in both of my long-term adult relationships, I've been 1:2. I can do it though. I can find both. And I couldn't have said that with such confidence before I gained what I have gained by loving my New Englander.

I've been hearing this song a bunch lately, and it feels hopeful to me:

Right from the start
You were a thief
You stole my heart
And Im your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them

Now you've been talking in your sleep oh oh
Things you never say to me oh oh
Tell me that you've had enough
Of our love, our love

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

I know it's about repairing a love that's gone awry, and I have all the faith in the world that if this adventure-loving man and I are given the opportunity somewhere down the road, it won't take much to jumpstart us again.

And that's, at least sort of, comforting:

I never stopped
You're still written in the scars on my heart
You're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Oh tear ducts and rust
I'll fix it for us
We're collecting dust
But our love's enough

But more than that, I'm hearing it as an anthem to the heart's ability to keep loving what it has loved AND love again:

It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
Oh we can learn to love again
Oh we can learn to love again oh oh
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again