The calendar of my life and that of my soon-to-return to New Englander dictate that this is the last weekend we have to spend alone together, so spend it together we are, doing some of our favorite things. We slept in today (well actually, I slept in), rode our bikes across town for a delicious breakfast at Sophia's on the Eastside, and then took in a hilarious flick, The Internship, which had us laughing so hard that we were crying (or I was crying) multiple times.
On the way home from the movie, the radio was kind enough to deliver my favorite of all voices, and a song that felt quite apropos:
When I walk beside her
I am the better man
When I look to leave her
I always stagger back again
I'm pretty sure the first couple lines are true, and it's difficult not to hope that lines three and four will be borne out too.
I was chatting with a friend at the gym the other day, someone whose post divorce relationship, like mine, isn't working out as he hoped it would. "Whatever will be, will be," he said philosophically, and it's tough to argue with that. I'm even finding some comfort in it this weekend.
I'm also taking comfort in the fact that I'm being as loving and generous as I can possibly be in this situation:
When I go to cross that river
She is comfort by my side
When I try to understand
She just opens up her hands
There’s a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world
Once I stood to lose her
When I saw what I had done
Bowed down and threw away the hours
Of her garden and her sun
So I tried to warn her
I turned to see her weep
Forty days and forty nights
And it's still coming down on me
It's true. I've shed a lot of tears over this, and I know that more are coming, along with days that feel like Eddie's chorus sounds:
There’s a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In a big hard world
But for today, I'm just going to enjoy this man I've loved for nearly three years, despite my efforts to stop at various points when it became less practical or convenient.
The time's gonna come, and it's gonna come soon, when I'm gonna have to turn my attention to getting over him. But not today.
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After being blown away by an exhibit where a man took a polaroid of himself every day for ten years, I started thinking of other ways to mark the passage of time in a meaningful way for both the artist doing the marking and those taking note. I find a lot of meaning in music, and enjoy writing about my experiences, so I decided to start a blog in which I mark (many of) my days by choosing a song that captures the day in some way (and a link, whenever possible, so you can listen to the song too).
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