Time is On My Side

Yesterday while I was out riding my bike, this song started playing on the internal ipod:

Time is on my side, yes it is
Time is on my side, yes it is

It felt pretty inexplicable, but in a good way. Like I may not feel like time is on my side at the moment, or know that it is, but according to the soundtrack of my life, it is. The song has been on repeat in my head ever since.

I had a pretty damn good day today -- finished my taper run of 6 miles complete with a hangover -- if that isn't proof that I'm ready for my half marathon next weekend, I don't know what is!

But as afternoon turned to evening, I found myself feeling really crappy about the really crappy thing that's happening in my life right now.

I felt the urge to drink heavily and decided that I'd meditate instead. I fired up one of my favorite guided meditations in a crisis -- Buddha Transforms Difficulties -- and just about immediately started sobbing. My daughter came in to see if I was ok, and asked why I was crying. I told her that I was upset about my special friend's upcoming departure, and explained that sometimes I feel better when I stop and consciously make space to feel the difficult feelings. She patted my head and said she hoped I'd feel better soon, and then left.

Unfortunately, I didn't feel much better afterward. And when I went to look up the lyrics to this picked-for-me song, I started to say "Oh, maybe that's why this song was in my head!":

Now you always say
That you want to be free
But you'll come running back (said you would baby)
Youll come running back (I said so many times before)
Youll come running back to me

But I'm not sure I really dare hope that. I'm not sure I can bear it.

Anyway, whatever it means, I'm glad time is on my side:

Cause I got the real love
The kind that you need
Youll come running back (said you would, baby)
Youll come running back (I always said you would)
Youll come running back, to me
Yes time, time, time is on my side, yes it is
Time, time, time is on my side, yes it is
Oh, time, time, time is on my side, yes it is
I said, time, time, time is on my side, yes it is
Oh, time, time, time is on my side
Yeah, time, time, time is on my side